The Midlife Reinvention Recipe- A Conversation...

Have you ever wondered to yourself, maybe it's too late to reinvent myself? If you ever have, today's conversation is for you. I know a lot of the midlife women that I meet experience a little bit of feeling like they're standing at a crossroads. Maybe the career they've had no longer fits anymore, or maybe they're approaching retirement and looking at a new identity. Maybe the empty nest is looming, and there's lots and lots of different ways, and sometimes it's just that there's a little voice inside that's saying, I feel like there's something more that I need to do, or something different, and I need a shift. But the trap we often fall into when we're in that situation is there's a fear of having to start all over, like from zero from scratch. As if everything we've done in the past is not valuable or doesn't count. And that's just not true. I know for me, I have actually had a multitude of careers. I was a professional singer for a little while, and then I had a restaurant of my own or a bistro, and then I moved into being a freelance writer, and then I actually became a real estate agent. And then after that I was in voiceover work, and I became a wine rep, and I've had a multitude of careers. And now here I am on a podcast. And so it's amazing when you look back at all of those different things that I did. I think for me, it has given me a unique skill set that nobody else in the world has exactly the same way. So what if that's true for you as well? What if reinvention in midlife isn't about wiping the slate clean, but instead collecting the wisdom of every chapter you've lived so far and turning it into something uniquely yours? Because every job you've had, every skill you've learned, every challenge you've navigated, and every role that you've played, whether it's personal, professional, or somewhere in between, is actually building something powerful. And I like to call it your personal recipe. Because if you think about it, nobody has the same secret sauce that you have with your collective wisdom and intelligence and experiences. 

You know, in our 40s and 50s and 60s, we we claim that we're starting from scratch, but we can't, we can't start from scratch. We're too old for that. We have so much of life that we've lived, that we've experienced, that we've learned, that we've um abilities that we've grown, situations we've navigated, perspectives we've gained, things we've survived, and all of that, all of that is what becomes your new credibility.
So when you start something new, yes, there are new skills to learn, of course, but you're never starting from scratch. You're bringing with you all of this. I created a method that I call the wisdom bridge. And that is a method that helps women look back at all they've done in the past and then bring that forward into clear, credible language that helps them, helps them find their authority, helps them position themselves as as somebody unique in the marketplace, and then allows them to really be the perfect person to help their their clients and their customers and the people who need them.
I love that you've said that, and that's such a good point, and I love that you've called it the wisdom bridge. I do an exercise with a lot of my clients called the reverse bucket list, and it is all about just instead of looking forward at what you haven't done, it's looking back at all the things you did and how all the adversities you had, and very similar to you know being able to look back and go, wow, I forgot I even did that, and oh my gosh, and I that wasn't so bad, and I actually didn't even know what I was doing, and I still figured it out. And so you have all these moments of, oh, you know what? I've got a lot to bring to the table, and so many things that don't seem connected. Later on, you go, the reason that I can do what I'm doing today is because I have all of these tools in my toolkit that I got through all kinds of different avenues, right? And it's it's beautiful.
It absolutely is. I love that. I love the reverse bucket list. What a great idea.
It's just putting on a different set of goggles, right? And being able to give ourselves some grace where we feel like, oh man, I've done all these dumb things, or I've, you know, shifted when I should have maybe stuck it out. But I I'm a firm believer that not everything should be easy, but there are a lot of things I also call show through talents. And I think that's kind of like your foray into education is where you stepped into that and all of a sudden your heart went, yes, I belong here, right? And that's when when something is easy like that, that's a show through talent that tells you that that is absolutely the space you should be in because it comes naturally to you.
Yeah. And then I found that teaching foundational skills to small people enabled me to take big concepts and break them into steps, into easy, you know, into easy, simple steps. And that's been a huge help with helping uh other women uh, you know, understand where they are right now. That's something that seems so big, like imposter syndrome, you know, that's we we all experience. How
do you how do you get past that? And there's so many different different ways, and being able to break them down and teach them, you know, that's a skill I I didn't have before I was teaching.
Well, isn't that interesting though? Again, here you are working with all these little people and creating a framework for them to understand, but being able to transfer that framework into the work you're doing now, right? That's a perfect example of you having a a life experience somewhere else and then saying, Oh, if I didn't have that life experience, I couldn't have created the wisdom bridge at all and broken these things down for women to see clearly how simple it is that they can move forward. And so that's beautiful. That's a great example. Thank you. Do you find that most of the women that you work with are career women that are pivoting, or do you find that you have um women that maybe have been at home for a long time and now are moving into the workforce? What's what's more of the demographic for what you work with?
Honestly, it's it's both. It's both. Um it can it can even also be people who are just moving up in their career, you know, into a new position in their work, in their company, um, and suddenly having to take on more leadership responsibilities, suddenly having to um find within themselves a way to help other people move forward. And talk about imposter syndrome, you know, people and when you're trying to come back into the workplace um from you know, from being home with your kids or for whatever reason you know, that you left the workplace when you're coming back, you look around and see all these other people who've been doing this for years and years, and you think, well, why would anybody talk to me?
Why would anybody talk about it? Who am I to do this? Who am I to do it, right? That's a very common thing. We all feel that way sometimes.
Yeah, and it's funny because um very often when I'm first having a conversation with somebody, I say, Okay, so tell me about yourself. And they'll start just telling me about their lives and all the things they've done. And sometimes all I need to do is repeat back to them what they've said and say, Did you did you realize you have done all of this? Do you realize you know all of this? And sometimes they look at me like, no, no, until you just said it that way, no, I had no idea. But I've done all of this, and I have all of these skills, and I'm capable of so much.
And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, the imposter syndrome melts away, and the feeling validated or feeling like they have something to bring to the table that nobody else can bring except them, right? Exactly because we're all unique.
You know, my circumstances are not anybody else's. But they were exactly what I needed. You know, we throw around these words, um, it kind of makes me crazy. It's my own little pet peeves of, you know, clarity, authenticity, alignment. Those are all really important words, but they're so over. Used and misused lately. But to me, alignment is what happens when you see how each step that you've taken suddenly fits on a path that brings you straight to where you are now. That's when things have to meet that's when there's alignment. You see you can see it. And it's almost um, I call it the second act compass because it it gives you that direction.
Yes.
Where where what direction you need to go in.
I find it so fascinating. I use the word compass a lot in in my work as well, because I feel like sometimes um I feel like even though we might not know it at the time, sometimes we're going along our path, and then a say a position shows up over here and you go, Oh, I don't know, that's not really where I was wanting to go, but I'm gonna take it. And so you take that position and you go over there and you do this thing and you realize that it's not for you, or but you learned something along the way that you needed to have in your toolkit, right? So sometimes we have to zig or zag. And I think when we are not even realizing it, our intuition is guiding us through some of that places, and we go, you know, we don't know until we've had that experience, and then we come out of it and we go, I needed to do that in order to find out that I don't want to do that, but I really want to do this. And it gives you that clarity, which, you know, can come from having, you know, contrasting experiences. But I think it's you're right, I think that the path we take is our own unique journey.
Absolutely. Yeah, it you know, the the days of having a linear career, there are still people who do, but so many people don't. Or so many people reach, you know, their 50s, say, and realize that this linear career they've been on has never been fulfilling. Never got them where they wanted to go. Um never fulfilled their dreams. Or the passion that they have inside them. And that's when they that's when they just they make that pivot because something inside them says they have to.
Yeah, and isn't it interesting, like what you were saying about as we go through into midlife all of these experiences that we've had and all of these different pivots or reinventions.
The as we get into this 40, 50s, 60s, specifically I would say more in the 50s and 60s, but but I feel like we because we have all that experience, we are we're not operating from the same system as we were in our 20s and 30s, where we didn't have the experience. Now we have something to look back and go, oh, I can do this and I'm not gonna die. Or I'm not-you know what I mean? We're not gonna cave in. So we have a little more resilience built into the mechanism of making a bad choice once in a while and going, hey, you know what? I survived. It was okay. I know that I can do that.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And sometimes you don't actually even realize that you are the hero of your own story. You know, this is your hero's journey, it's yours. And such a good point. People will talk to me about um adverse circumstances, things that have happened. Um, and you know, and and there's a part of me, you know, that my heart is melting and breaking. But what I say is you have you have overcome so much. And here you are standing here and moving forward and and talking to me in order to help you move forward. And do you understand how how powerful that is? You are the hero. You have risen above this and and you are moving forward. And, you know, sometimes hearing those words really changes how you feel about what you're going through.
I think it's so interesting because, you know, it's just like the forest and the trees syndrome, right? If you're in your own story, you often aren't looking at the story from the outside, looking in. So we don't always have that same appreciation for what we are doing. And then, of course, our friends or somebody in our life will go, Wow, like you're incredible. And you're you're I'm just doing what I'm doing, you know, and and there's so much, you know, downplaying of what's really great about it because we just don't see it the same way other people do.
That's interesting that you're talking about that because um I've just created a new course. Um, I've been working with a woman who is a somatic coach. And we when we first started talking, we we didn't really know if there was a way to even work together, you know, yeah, to blend what we do. But as we kept talking about it, we were noticing a pattern. And the pattern is that women who are so capable, who have so much knowledge, who are, you know, stepping into something new, and they have a real issue with articulating their value. So they'll walk into say a networking event, and they've got the perfect sentence fully formed in their head. They know exactly what they're gonna say, they know exactly how to talk to people, they've got it. And as soon as someone turns around and says, So, what do you do? it disappears. The time that it's in their brain, by the time it gets to their mouth, it has softened, they've qualified it, they've buried it in explanation, they um they give a short version because the big version seems too, you know, too big to claim. And that's really um that's the piece that we we address. We've created this new program. It's called the Body Brand Blueprint. And we're just actually um getting it off the ground and we're doing workshops um to help people, you know, get to know what it is. But that's that moment where you just, you know, and I I've done this myself, where you want to walk in and be your professional self and be an equal among your peers and be able to talk to people. And somehow there's so much emotional stuff that goes on with these midlife reinventions, you know? There's and and people don't really talk about this stuff, that quiet part. There's that that sense of shame. Why don't I have things figured out yet? Um the embarrassment and people saying, You left a perfectly good job to do what? Yes, 100%. That's yes. All these different, all these different feelings and emotions that can be very overwhelming and can literally over if your body is feeling that, no matter how many times you've rehearsed that sentence in your head, or that, you know, that code statement or your core message, whatever it is, if your body is is still feeling that, it's so hard to make it come out right.
You know, I love that you said that, and it's it's fascinating. I was just listening as you were talking, and I thought, how interesting it is, and I'm just from my own, like I'm having this visceral response as you're saying that, because I I know exactly how that feels to walk into a room and go, you know, I got it going on, I got stuff happening. I'm I'm here to meet people and shake hands and you know, all the things. And then all something inside, it maybe that little people pleaser, that little girl from back in the day, something tells you, I don't want to be too big in this moment. I don't want to sound like I'm so full of myself. So we dial it all back and we shrink and we tell part of the story because we don't want to seem like we're too much. And that's such a common thing amongst a lot of the women that I meet and talk to. And and it's intrinsic. It's not something we even realize we're doing until somebody brings it to our attention. And so it's conditioning. It's totally conditioning. And it's such an interesting thing to watch women as they get into their midlife place and they start to have new boundaries and they start to do, you know, say no, no is a complete sentence and all those little things. But that's that's a practice because we were not taught to be that way as young, young girls, right? And that's a a good conversation to have for sure.
It really is. We we were so conditioned to not make waves or take up too much space or too much attention, or you know, or you seem like you're bragging, or people won't like me. It's like you said, I you know, that that that you know, teenager, young girl still inside of us who just wants everyone to like us. But what happens when you um we call it embodied confidence? And when you can cross that wisdom bridge, when you can find inside of you those stuck points, those places where you you need you you think it, you feel it in your body. How are you going to move through this? Once you do, then when you walk into a room, you simply walk in as you. There's no script that you had to memorize or template you needed to fill in and then remember what to do. There's nothing you've got to rehearse. Even um when I first started doing podcasts, um, you know, and being on people being interviewed on people's podcasts, I used to sit here um at my desk with my feet up on my chair and my arms wrapped around my knees, you know, and notes and scripts all over, you know, and really big font, because otherwise I need glasses to see it, you know. Yeah. And it was never, I once Lydia and I, my partner and I really started working on this, and I really and discovered and embraced this embodied confidence. I don't, I I'm sitting here in my chair, my feet are on the ground, and I don't have any scripts up, I don't have any notes out. I can walk in and I can talk to you about who I am and what I do. And you get the pleasure of that. It feels so good to be able to express the there's that word authentic, to be your authentic self. Because you're not putting on a part, you're not, you know, playing a role. Um exactly. You you just you just walk in as you and people respond.
People respond it's such a beautiful thing, yes, and I love that you said that because it's the it's the ability to drop the mask, it's the ability to, like you say, show up as yourself, and you don't need a script at that point, and that's what's so beautiful, and that's so much of what I teach here on the podcast. So I love this conversation because I think this idea that we can strip back all of the things that we do to get approval. I what's the word I'm looking for? I mean, approval is definitely the word. But but when we show up like you are today, it's presence. It's just being right here in the moment and being as you are. And I don't think there's any greater gift that you can give anyone, whether you're in business or in a personal relationship. That's where the good stuff is. And that's how I do most of my interviews, is very much just the same way. I have a basic framework, but I love just the organic unfolding of the conversation because that's where all the juicy good stuff is.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. It's too scripted, it's no fun, right?
No, and then you're always um listening to yourself and second guessing yourself. You're still you can't really participate in the conversation because you're having one in your own head.
Yes.
You know?
That's so great. So tell us, I mean, I love all of what you've talked about so far. And I, you know, when you're talking about the body brand, you know, I do really feel you explaining that in a way where you embody those emotions and you don't have to put them on because you actually live them. So talk to us a little bit about what the wisdom bridge is and how maybe some of our listeners could, you know, take a few little nuggets of wisdom to maybe apply them to their life today to, you know, maybe start the process.
The first thing I talk to people about is changing their language. You've got to realize that when you qualify and almost belittle yourself, you take instantly all your credibility away. So when you come to um, you know, people will say, Oh, well, I've just I just started doing this, I'm I'm new, but I'm learning, or I have been doing this very long, but you know, um, I kind of think, you know, that kind of language immediately you st you're putting yourself down. You're not giving yourself a chance. So the first thing I usually talk to people about is noticing their language, a real shift in it. I have not been in this space long, but I have years of experience at handling these kinds of situations, and that has given me what I need in order to talk to you about the situation that you're in. Those little language pieces make a huge difference. The other thing that um that I think that helps with all of that conditioning that we've been through is uh setting intentions in the morning and celebrating successes in the evening. And they can be small. My intention today is to get out for a walk, to put things down, to step away and go for a walk and let myself breathe. When you and then in the evening, in terms of celebrating successes, it doesn't have to be I closed a million-dollar deal. It's you know what? I wrote that email and I sent it that I've been uncomfortable, you know, doing. I did it. Or maybe it was I've been meaning to talk to somebody and and I finally made time and I did it. And I spoke to a friend that I haven't spoken to for ages, or you know, there's a hundred little things we do. I tried a recipe, yeah, totally slapped, but I did it. Little things, you know, and and each of those little things add up, and day by day they won't seem so great. But if you at the end of the month look back and read all the ones you wrote from the beginning of the month, or or go further back, how about the beginning of the year or six months ago, whatever it is, you think, oh my God, look how much I've learned. Look how far I've come.
Yes. And then there's that piece of being able to slowly
over time begin to trust yourself.
Yes. And that helps. That uh celebrating those successes helps you build that trust for yourself.
Yeah, I love that. When when I had kids at home, we used to do a thing called the highs and the lows at dinner. And it was a safe place for the kids to be able to say, I was bullied today, or this happened. And so they could actually verbalize that. But then it was, what was your high today? And sometimes it was just the smallest thing. But I think those little tiny moments of being able to say, you know, I had a math test and I expected to fail, and I got 60% or 70%. And I was really proud of myself, like such a small thing. But those things over time, they build your character and your resilience and your ability to know that you can handle hard things.
Yes. That's amazing. True. It is. Um, so those those are the first the first things I usually talk about when you start working with somebody.
That's amazing. That's so great. Oh gosh, this has been such a great conversation. So we actually have quite a bit of uh crossover and alignment because I'm also a singer. And uh yeah, I've been a singer. I actually went to school in at 18 to become a singer. That's all I ever wanted to be. And now I'm a voiceover artist. And um, and then I opened a restaurant and I had no idea how to do it. I opened a bistro and I did that for several years, and I, same thing, just jumped in with two feet and said, okay, let's do this. And um, it's just so interesting because I think that ability to just go, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna figure it out and it's okay. I think there's some real superpower in that because I think so too. It really, you know, because if you're not afraid to be a bit messy and get it wrong, I think you can do really great things. And if there's anything I hope someone will take away from this, it's that there really isn't any failure. Sometimes you have to do something wrong in order to learn how to do it the right way. And that ability to just go, let's go. I I know this is something I'm supposed to do. So let's step in and try it. You know, I think there's something beautiful about that. Tell us a little bit more about your program and how people can get involved in the Wisdom Bridge and what exactly outcomes you would expect to have. Because I know we haven't really talked a lot about careers, but that is kind of one of the key things that you work with is women saying, you know, here's I've done this and I've done this and I've done this, and how all of these skills come together to create this signature recipe, if you will, of your particular secret sauce.
So the the Wisdom Bridge, um, the program itself is um is a three-month program. And we begin with going through your past and with you know, doing almost an inventory, and then learning through that what are the through lines and what what has brought you to this? You have to understand your why. Why are you doing this now? Why have you made this pivot now? What is it that you need to have happen? And as we start putting together all those pieces of the past and understanding that skills translation, um, then we can really start building your credibility and your authority and your presence in where you are and and in where you want to go. So honestly, it's different for every single person that I coach. There's no one size fits all. Um, I don't like to work that way. Um, I have a framework that we start with and that we work off of, but ultimately we go with where my where the woman that I'm working with needs to go. And sometimes that changes. You know, sometimes someone thinks that this is what they wanted to do, and then as we talk and as they start trying things and moving through things and understanding themselves better, they realize that no, this is where I want to go. This is what I want to do. And then it clicks, then it feels right, and then they're able to create. That core message. We create the introduction. You know, when you go into a networking event or when you start talking to a client and you need to introduce yourself, you want the people you're talking to to lean in and to say, oh, tell me more. How where did that, you know, how do you do that? What is that about? So we br we build that. We build the language that that comes from where you are, what
you've built, and who you are, so that you you embody it and then you can move forward. And this is what this is what my clients do. And you know, sometimes some of my clients, it's been a lot longer than four months, you know, or three months. It it tends to be whatever they need it to be.
Yes, because everybody's on their own timeline, and that's the piece that I think we get wrong sometimes, is it's like, why haven't I figured it out by now? But often it's a a better question is I'm here for a reason, and what is that reason?
Yes, what's your why? Yeah. What is your why? And yes, I give you tools to use. Yes, I give you things to think about, you know, in between our sessions or things to do and get done and and try to achieve. But it this when you work with me, you're not watching recordings, you're not, you know, listening to videos. We're working in real time together. And we build together in real time and we build the language together. We work together to to you know to let go of old beliefs and old thoughts and limiting the you know, things that keep us limited, and then we work together to build the new. So, yeah, so it it can take, you know, the goal was for it to take three to four months at the most, but that's just not the way it works. You know, it's just not the way it works.
No, and you gotta be flexible with these things because we're all starting in a different place. And and some people have a little bit more to let go of, and some people need to in fact, you know, a lot of I think what I notice in a lot of the women that I talk with is that they they don't believe that they can be more than one thing, and that, you know, if they have a desire that they've kind of like, well, I've always wanted to do that, but you know, I'm an accountant, so no, I you know, I can't do that. And I think there's that piece quietly as we get into our later years where it's that whisper gets louder, and it's like I can be more than one thing, and maybe I can have a hobby, you know, or bring something else to the table that I don't have to be a one-trick pony. And that's just a piece that I think I see so many women feeling shame around. Like I shouldn't want more. I've already got this great career, and you know, I have good kids and a nice family, so that should be enough. But the reality is we get to want what we want.
Yes, and sometimes, you know, that call, especially the call to serve, to serve others, I think you can only suppress that for so long.

And then ultimately, I think you have I I think people and women, I think we have to follow it. And that's where that's where, yes, you've had, you know, 30 years you've been, you know, an accountant and you're successful, and you know, you're you know, you're making a good living, and that's all great, but there's more to you. There's and it's time to to bring that forward because that that call inside of you is so strong that when as you keep suppressing it, that sort of feeds negativity. You know, it feeds negative emotions, it it brings you down. And what we want for the women that we work with and that we talk with and that are listening right now, we want them to build up, to feel the positive, to understand how much they have to offer and how much is possible. And so that's where when you when you get to this point where this this thing is yelling in your head, I need to be doing something different. That's where you need to explore it. You need to embrace it, and you need to say, let me see what what this is about.
Yeah, and I I appreciate that you said that. That's such a good point because it's really important that, and we talk a lot about that here also, because the whole reason I name this podcast, Life is Delicious, is because there's so many facets to what brings a full and beautiful life. It's not just
one thing.
And it doesn't mean that you deny that other that piece of you from the past. You bring all those skills with you. That's I mean, that's the wisdom bridge. That's the whole purpose of it, is that you know, that those 30 years of everything you've been doing, don't deny it. You're not apologizing for it. You're you may not be actually involved in it right now, but everything that it gave you, you are bringing forward.