Wed, 29 Jul 2026 20:20:39 -0700WeeblyWed, 29 Jul 2026 20:18:13 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/the-art-of-intentional-living-writing-your-own-midlife-manifesto
​Have you ever noticed that we spend our entire lives planning almost everything? We write grocery lists, we make meal plans, business plans, retirement plans, vacation plans, even garden plans. We make plans for birthdays, Christmas, college, our finances, and some people even plan their funerals. But isn't it funny that almost nobody ever sits down and writes a plan for how they actually want to live?

Not what they accomplish or what they want to own or where they want to retire, but who do I want to become? And I think that's one of the reasons why so many women arrive in midlife with this feeling of restlessness. Not because they've done anything wrong or that they're not grateful for the life they have, but because somewhere in between raising children, building careers, taking care of aging parents, being everyone's helper and problem solver and calendar keeper, we slowly stopped asking ourselves one really important question.
What do I actually want?
Not what does everyone else need or what should I do, but what do I want? What kind of life would actually feed my soul? And that's exactly why I created the Midlife Manifesto. Because I think a manifesto changes everything.

What exactly IS a Midlife Manifesto?
A manifesto is more than just words on a page. It's a declaration. It's a bold, unapologetic statement of who you are, what you stand for, and the life you're committed to living. What I love is it's actually part compass, but also part love letter to yourself, guiding you not only toward the life you truly want, but also away from the one that you just expected to live or that you live by default or on autopilot.

The Midlife Manifesto is about reclaiming that sense of clarity, purpose, and self-trust in a chapter that is often clouded by a lot of change. It's a personal roadmap that you create for yourself. It's your set of values, intentions, and truths that you want to commit to living by every day. And the beauty of a manifesto is that it's entirely yours, crafted to reflect your experiences, your dreams, and your needs. And it helps you navigate the noise, cut through old beliefs that no longer serve you, and anchor into a deeper sense of meaning.

And what's cool about your manifesto is that it's changeable as you grow into a different phase of your life. You can customizeit and change it and throw things away and add things to it because it's yours. And when we consciously write and live by our own manifesto, we stop drifting and we start steering. We become more intentional about where our energy goes, who we spend our time with, and what we allow into our hearts and into our space. This is your time to nourish your soul, honor your uniqueness, and love yourself fully, deeply, and unapologetically as you step into this next chapter of life.

The Midlife Manifesto is not about changing who you are. It's about becoming more of who you've always been.
What if midlife isn't the beginning of the end like we've been taught? What if it's finally the beginning of living on purpose? And that's exactly why I wrote the Midlife Manifesto. Because I don't believe we're here to fade quietly into the background in our next chapter. I think we're here to become more ourselves than we've ever been before.
So what does intentional living actually look like?
I believe it comes down to eight areas of life. And today I'm not going to teach every exercise in the manifesto, but instead, I want to leave you with ten ideas that have the power to change everything.

1.Become the author of your thoughts.
Everything begins here. Your life follows your thinking. So if you're constantly telling yourself I'm too old, I missed my chance, or well, I've just always been this way, your brain starts looking for evidence that that's true. But neuroscience tells us something incredible. Our brains continue changing throughout our lives. And that means we're never stuck, because you're literally capable of creating new thought patterns anytime you choose. So maybe the question isn't what happened to me? Maybe it's what story am I ready to start telling now?

2.Treat your body like your best friend.
​For so many women, myself included, midlife can become a bit of a battle against the mirror. But your body isn't your enemy, even though lots of days it really does feel like it, and it's very confusing, and there's a lot of pain associated too, and changes that we just did not see coming. But your body has been carrying you through every season of your life. So maybe instead of pushing against it, we start partnering with it. Maybe move just because it feels good, not because you have to get a gym membership and work out five days a week. Move for joy. Maybe eat because it fuels your body and gives you energy. Don't look at everything on your plate as a diet or an in or an out source of fat. Instead, look at it as a way to nourish your body. Rest because your body deserves kindness. Try to not see rest as being lazy or just not doing anything, because your body needs rest in order to do all of the amazing things that you require of it. And your body truthfully has been speaking to you for years. And I think in midlife, it's the best time, if not the most important time, that we finally listen.

3. Make space to hear yourself think.
We are surrounded by noise, notifications on our phone, television, social media, news, podcasts, although this one isn't noise. Even this one. But sometimes the wisest voice is the one that's inside you. And intentional living means creating moments of stillness. A walk, a garden, a meditation. Because clarity usually doesn't arrive when we're in a hurry. It arrives when we're finally quiet enough to hear it.

4.Health is freedom.
What if we didn't take care of our health because we're afraid of getting sick? What if instead we took care of our health because we have so much life left to live? We want the energy to travel, to hike, to dance, to chase our grandchildren, to build businesses, to fall in love. And health isn't vanity, it's freedom.

5. Redefine wealth.
This might be my favorite lesson because somewhere along the way we started believing that wealth is just about money. But I don't think that's true anymore. I think real wealth is having the time, the peace, and the people we love around us and our health to do the things that truly matter to us. Having laughter around your dinner table, having friends to travel with, having quiet moments to just enjoy your time. That's freedom, but it's also abundance, and nobody can put a price tag on that.

6. Protect your peace.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that boundaries aren't walls, they're actually doors. And you decide who gets access. You decide what behavior you're willing to accept. And you decide where your energy goes. And every time you choose your peace, you're practicing self-respect and self-love.

7. Choose relationships that feed your soul.
Life becomes incredibly rich when we're surrounded by people who celebrate us. Not people who blow sunshine up our ass, but people who truly see us, not just simply tolerate us. The ones who have your back and know your history and where you've come from and love you all the more for it. Intentional living means becoming intentional about who gets a front row seat in your life and who gets a seat at your table. Because the relationships that we have shape us. And life is so much more delicious when it's shared with people that we love.

8.Your purpose didn't retire.
Purpose isn't something that's reserved for your twenties or your career. Purpose evolves. And maybe today your purpose is raising grandchildren. And maybe tomorrow it's mentoring or volunteering or starting a podcast, or learning to paint, or learning to plant a garden. Purpose keeps us growing and I truly believe that if you're still breathing, your purpose is still unfolding. Number nine, courage comes before confidence. People think they need confidence before they start, but I don't actually think that's true. Confidence is what grows after you've been brave enough to begin, and you learn to trust yourself for stepping forward into the unknown. So take that class you've been wanting to take, book the trip, or maybe write that book or launch that business you've been thinking about. But say yes before you know exactly how. Because action actually creates confidence, not the other way around.

10. Write your own rules.
This is really what a manifesto is. And any of you that have followed me for a while on this podcast know that I have an exercise that I do called the Rules of the Road, and I do it every January. And I believe actually it was the precursor to the Midlife Manifesto. Because the rules of the road are a set of standards and statements that help me to shape the way I live, and that has gone on to evolve into this manifesto where we take the eight most important areas of our life and we actually write our own rules.

What is it for us that works? Because not everybody's recipe is going to be the same. But we need to choose the values that we want to live by and what we're no longer available for, how we want to feel, and the legacy that we want to leave. Because nobody else gets to write that for you. Only you.

I'd love you to grab a journal and answer these five questions.
What do I believe?
What am I no longer available for?
Who am I becoming?
What do I want more of?  
And what do I want the next chapter of my life to feel like?

Don't worry about making it perfect. Just begin. Because the moment you start answering those questions, you've already begun writing your own midlife manifesto. And maybe that's what intentional living really is. Not having every answer. But deciding that from this day forward, you're going to live on purpose instead of by default.

I've created a free resource called The Midlife Manifesto, the Art of Intentional Living in Midlife and Beyond. And it's filled with reflection questions, practical exercises, and simple actions, to help you create your own blueprint for a life that truly feeds your soul. You can download it at https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca

Sample Midlife Manifesto to spark your own.
-I believe midlife is not the beginning of the end, it's the start of my most authentic and vibrant chapter, and I am ready to shine.
-I believe I am allowed to change my mind, rewrite my story, and choose a life that lights me up from the inside out.
-I will nourish my body, mind, and spirit with love, compassion, and care, because I am worthy of feeling good every single day.
-I will stop apologizing for taking up space, for having dreams, or for prioritizing my own joy. It's my turn to thrive.
-I will release the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of being human, flaws and all. I believe my worth has never been defined by my age, my appearance, or the opinion of others.
-I will choose presence over busyness, meaning over approval, and courage over fear.
-I know that everything is always working out for me.

​Now imagine writing those words about your life. What would your manifesto say? What do you believe? What kind of woman are you becoming? Once you find that out, you will know exactly what you want the next chapter of your life to feel like. So don't overthink it. Just begin. Because a manifesto doesn't have to be perfect, it simply has to be true.]]>Wed, 08 Jul 2026 21:23:17 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/a-midyear-reset-how-to-make-the-next-6-months-countIf I was to hand you a movie of the first six months of this year, and we sat down together with a big bowl of popcorn to watch it, what story would it tell? Not the story that you posted on social media or the story that you imagined back in January when you were making those New Year's resolutions.

But the real story. And who got the very best version of you over the past six months?  I think this question is actually the most important one...did YOU did you get the best version of you over the past six months?
Because here's the beautiful thing about being halfway through the year. It isn't the end of the story.
It's only halftime. And halftime is not where the championships are won. This is the time where we can make adjustments that make winning possible. Whatever winning means for you. This is where we pause long enough to ask ourselves, what's working? What's not working? What is leaking my energy? And how do I want to play the second half of this game or this year?
I think so many of us look at January like it has some kind of a magical power. You know, we start the year off with our new planner and we choose a word for the year and we make a vision board and all the good things, which are really important, and also, you know, I'm not discounting the power of those things, but somehow we promise ourselves that this will be the year we finally get our shit together. You know, you know that feeling.

And then by February, it's kind of business as usual, and we're back to real life, and maybe our parents are sick, maybe we have a work project that's hugely overwhelming. Maybe there's a relationship that needs your attention, or grandkids have arrived. Maybe the washing machine died, or the roof was leaking, or your body just reminded you that you're not 25 anymore. I know mine's done that a few times. But before we know it, we're not really living intentionally and for those resolutions and towards those goals. We're simply reacting to life. And then we look up one day and we go, oh, it's July. Oh my God, where did that six months go?

And how did they quietly slip away? Where did the time go? That's the question. And it's not because we weren't trying, it's because somewhere along the way we got out of the driver's seat and into the passenger's seat and let life kind of take us wherever it was going. And maybe the funny part is maybe we didn't even actually get off track at all. Maybe life was just really revealing to us what mattered most in the last season. Either way, there's something really valuable to learn by looking back at our last six months.

And you know, the interesting part is our brain is kind of lazy. And there's some fascinating neuroscience behind this because our brains are kind of like prediction machines. They like to do things that are easy and that they know how to do and that are simple. You know, researchers actually talk about this, and it's fascinating because they estimate that close to half of our daily behavior is just automatic. You know, we go through our day thinking that we're making conscious decisions all day long. But in reality, much of what we do just simply runs on habit. Our brains are constantly looking for ways to conserve energy. So when we repeat a behavior over and over, not only does it strengthen our brain's neural pathway, so it becomes the default, but it also conserves energy. And it becomes something we just do over and over again. It's kind of like walking the same trail through the forest every day. Eventually the path becomes worn and you don't even have to think about where you're going anymore, which can be awesome. You just go. But sometimes you want the path to go in a different direction. And that's why intentions alone rarely change our lives. Intentions are important for us to acknowledge and to pay attention to, but most often we are all running with repeated choices that are habits that basically shape the way we do our day.

What we do with our days eventually becomes what we've done with our life.
But the good news is that our brains are remarkably capable of changing, and science calls this neuroplasticity, which is our brain's remarkable ability to form new neural pathways. And every time we repeat a healthier habit or choose a different response, or make a new decision consistently and on purpose, we're literally helping our brains build a new trail. And then the other good news is that we are never too old to become somebody new or to learn something new or to change the way our life looks.

So this week I was thinking about this and I was like, okay, well, if I'm gonna talk about it and we're gonna do the thing, I decided I guess I better take my own advice. So I grabbed a notebook and I poured myself a coffee and I went outside into the garden and I asked myself, if I was to watch the first six months of my own life movie, what would I actually see? And you know, at first I was feeling pretty discouraged. I thought, where did the last six months even go? Like, I don't even know.

And it's interesting because it's so easy to discount what we've done and to just feel bad about something that we haven't actually really looked at very closely. So I sat down and I wrote, What have I really accomplished? Like, what was I spending my time on? What did I actually do? And you know what was cool?

Something interesting happened. When I looked a little bit closer, I realized that the story wasn't what I thought it was. And that I had made some very powerful, significant changes, and I'm kind of excited about that actually. So here's how I did a recap.

Number one, I know a lot of you know that I have been single for a very long time, but late in 2025, in November, I did meet a gentleman, and so for the past six months, we have really been building a new relationship. And I've been learning how to make space to receive love, to have connection, to play, and to spend time with someone, and that's something that I haven't done in a really long time, and that feels like a really worthwhile investment to me. So I was excited about that.

Number two was that I noticed how much energy I've poured into building this business. The podcast, my voice work, creating frameworks and getting ready to launch a course, and there's all kinds of new good things coming. Of course, promoting my book, developing ideas, and laying foundations that most people won't really see, but I know they're there. And so I'm really proud of where where my business is now as opposed to where it was six months ago. So again, a good use of my time.

The third thing I noticed was how much I decided consciously that I wanted to invest some time learning about AI to help my business, to help me as a solopreneur to streamline things and to research a bit quicker and to just save me some time. So that's something I've consciously been taking a few courses and spending daily um time on, you know, accessing that so that I could become more proficient at it. And so that also feels like a pretty good use of my time. I personally, I know there's mixed reviews about AI, but I personally think that it's actually pretty cool and is gonna change the way we do business. So I'm happy about that. 

And then number four was my garden. And for the longest time, as long as I can remember as a young woman, I've always wanted to have enough cut flowers in my yard that I could have a fresh-cut bouquet in every room of my house all summer long. And this year, I actually intentionally planted that. I think back in a couple of previous episodes, I talked about my milk jug experiment where I planted a bunch of perennial flowers in milk jugs, and they lived in my bathtub for a while, and it was really kind of strange and weird. But then I put them outside and they did their thing in the cooler climates. And lo and behold, I ended up with more perennial flowers than I could possibly plant. And so I actually ended up having to create another garden bed, and now it is just starting to bloom. It's wonderful. And then my my other garden, my uh vegetable garden, I've put a lot of time and energy into learning about what goes where, how to companion plant, all of that, and that has been a lot of energy, and now all of those things that I was doing back in February and March are starting to grow and flourish, and soon I'll be harvesting things. So again, I really think that is a fairly good use of my time and energy. At least it brings me a lot of joy and hopefully will throughout the whole summer.

Number five is I started playing golf again, and it helps now to have a partner that loves to play golf, so that's really helped to get that process going. But you know what? I love to play golf, and it's one thing I do almost every summer and have for many, many years. But over the last two and a half years, I was so busy helping my mom and dad transition from their family home into assisted living and selling their house and managing their health care and their bills and their finances, that I just didn't have time or energy, frankly, for golfing. So that has been such a beautiful joy since March. We have been golfing one sometimes two times a week, which I am just so excited about because that has brought a lot more joy to my life again, and uh I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. And pickleball. I've been playing lots of pickleball this year too. So so that's felt really good for my uh mental health and my physical well-being.

And then number six, I would say the most important one that happened this year is... I finally I let go of over functioning and trying to hold everything together in my adult son's life. And unfortunately, it came after a pretty significant falling out, and it certainly wasn't easy. I had to cut ties and stop seeing him for a while.
And even though that really hurts still now, looking back, I realized I had to create a boundary for my own life in order to create space for him to become responsible again for his own life and choices.

And that one decision has given me something that I desperately needed, which is my space and my peace back. So that has been hard but necessary and a really valuable part of the lesson that I needed to learn in this last six months and that we talk about on this podcast a lot. So that's something that I had to do. But you know what I really realized when I actually looked back at all of these things is none of the things that I did were really about golf or flowers or business. They were really about my values. And without realizing it, I was living my values.

And that was an interesting realization because I've been waiting for a long time to find somebody that I can share my life with. And I feel really excited that, you know, I've made space for that to happen. And it hasn't been easy. There's been a few bumps in the road, no, not gonna lie, but it's been a learning process and something that I know has enriched my life in so many beautiful ways. And investing in my business, that's a value I hold really dear. Um and my garden and all of those things that I do, it's that's how I create joy in my life.

So I think that that's such an important thing because we don't always realize that... our calendars will tell us where our days went, but it's our values that'll tell us why our time went there. And there's this saying that I've heard many times, and I believe it is a hundred percent true.

We always have time, money, and energy
for the things that are important to us.

So the question really isn't whether we have priorities, the question is whether we're choosing them or simply
inheriting them from habit or obligation or other people's expectations. So maybe the invitation at halftime, early July, is to not judge ourselves or to be harsh or look back and shame ourselves, but to become curious. What did the first six months of this year teach you? Where did your energy naturally go? And what brought you alive? What are you excited that you spent your energy on? And what maybe did you spend your time on that you really didn't want to, but it was a habit, and you just did it anyway? Or maybe what are you incredibly proud of that you almost forgot to celebrate? You know, we're very, very quick to forget the stuff that we've done right and really quick to know what we've done wrong. So this exercise is not about that. It's about looking back, taking stock, and giving ourselves the chance to pivot and try something new. So let's not underestimate what we can do in a six-month period because we can get a lot more done than we think. Six months from now, you'll be standing at the end of another season and you'll be harvesting whatever you plant between now and then.
​Because you know what?
The second half of this year is still yours.
So let's look at it with intention and choose how we want to create it.]]>Wed, 24 Jun 2026 15:41:43 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/every-yes-has-a-cost-the-life-changing-power-of-saying-noToday, we're diving into a topic that has the power to completely shift how you show up in your everyday life, how you speak to yourself, and how you communicate your value to the world. Today we're talking about boundaries, specifically the power of saying no, the trap of I can't, and two other little words that just might change your life.

Why No Feels So Hard
Today we're diving into something that many of us have struggled with, especially as women, daughters, mothers, partners, caregivers, and community builders. We're talking about the power of saying no. It sounds simple, right? Just two little letters, N, O.

But for so many of us, saying no feels wrong, feels heavy, maybe even selfish. In fact, most of the time, it does feel selfish. But what if I told you that saying no might just be the most loving, powerful, life-giving word in your vocabulary? And that every time you say no to something that drains you, you're saying yes to something that fuels you, your health, your joy, and your dreams.

Let's start with the hard truth. Many of us are programmed to please, to avoid conflict, to put other people first. And while kindness is a beautiful value, chronic people pleasing comes at a very expensive cost. According to Dr. Vanessa Bonds, a social psychologist at Cornell University, people vastly underestimate how uncomfortable others feel when asking for favors. In other words, we often say yes because we don't want to make someone else feel bad, when they probably expect or respect a boundary more than we think. We fear being seen as difficult or unkind. But in reality, saying yes when we mean no often leads to stress, resentment, and burnout.

People Pleasing And The Real Cost

So ask yourself, where are you giving away your time, energy, and power because you're afraid to say no? Let's be honest, every yes has a cost. And when you say yes to things that don't align with your values or your well-being, you're saying no to joy, rest, creativity, self-respect, time with your loved ones, maybe even your health. And over time, this pattern leads to a life that feels disconnected from you. You're checking all the boxes for everybody else, but inside you're tired, irritable, maybe even a little bit lost, because resentment is a very heavy emotion. And this can actually be something that we deal with a lot in midlife, especially when so many of us are in what we call like the sandwich generation.

And if you're not familiar with the sandwich generation, it's being in a place where you have grown children or maybe even kids that are getting prepared to leave the empty nest, and you probably still have your parents alive, so you've got their well-being and aging concerns to deal with. And some of you even have the added stress of grandkids, which is not a stress, but of course it adds another level of people that you need to care about and where you need to put your time, and it's just a lot sometimes. And if we're not careful, our needs can vanish under a pile of everyone else's expectations.

But you're not here to be everyone's everything. You're here to live a full, deep, intentional life and to be of value to the people that you love. But you're less likely to be the best version of yourself if you give yourself away too often. But here's the good news: saying no is a skill. And like any skill, we can learn it and strengthen it. It's like a practice.

So let's break this down. I mean, sometimes when we get caught off guard by a request, we freeze and we don't have a response. So I think what might be a really good strategy would be to create some kind of a script, a no script. And maybe you have a couple of different ones. Maybe you try..."thanks so much for thinking of me, but I'm just not able to take that on right now." Or "I'm honored you asked, but I'm keeping my calendar lighter these days to prioritize my health." What about..."that sounds like a great opportunity, but it's just not a fit for me right now, but thank you for asking."

And practice saying it out loud. You don't owe anyone an essay, just short and sweet is kind and to the point. And that way you put yourself and your priorities first. And sometimes it's hard to actually do that without taking a little bit of a pause. So if you just don't have that script on hand and someone asks you to do something that you just don't feel is aligned with where you are or what you need at the moment, then ask them to give you a little bit of time. Let me get back to you on that. Let me check my schedule. Or maybe you just say, "I'll sleep on it and I will get back to you." 

That just gives you a minute to actually sit with the request and see if it is a fit for you. And maybe you do want to do it, but maybe you just feel like you don't have enough time. So that'll give you the opportunity to check in with yourself and decide for you if it's the right thing. This is a really fun little game you can play with yourself. Just go get yourself a sticky note and just put on it every no to someone else is a yes to myself. Put it on your mirror in your bathroom and read it and look at it and build it into your day, and start becoming comfortable and not apologetic for prioritizing your own well-being.

Because the more you practice, the more natural it'll feel. Okay, now let's look at two other phrases that will really impact the way we live our life. Let's start with this familiar phrase. I can't. I can't work out. I'm too tired. I can't change careers now. It's too late. I can't say no. They need me. I can't leave. It would hurt them. I can't take time for myself because everyone else comes first.

Sound familiar? The words I can't might seem like an honest expression of a limitation. But more often than not, it's a mask for fear, guilt, or conditioning. And when we repeat it often enough, it becomes a kind of internalized victim script, one where life happens to us instead of for us. Dr. Martin Seligman, often called the father of positive psychology, studied a concept called learned helplessness, where people, after repeated experiences of feeling powerless, stop trying to even change their circumstances, even when escape or success is possible.

That sounds a little like I can't. It's the language of resignation, of shrinking, of surrendering our agency. And over time, this kind of thinking can actually change the brain. Neuroscience shows that when we frequently think in defeatist ways, we reinforce neural pathways that support that pattern. But here's the good news we can rewire them. 99% of the time, the words I can't are not about ability. It's more about permission.
The Trap Hidden In I Can’t
​So what happens when we reframe the words I can't to using the words I don't? Let's look at the difference. I can't eat sugar versus I don't eat sugar. The first suggestion implies restriction. The second implies choice, clarity, and ownership. I can't go out tonight versus... I don't go out during the week. One sounds like you're trapped, and the other sounds like you have a boundary.

Our words matter. I don't reflects values and intentional living, and it communicates self-respect. And it also teaches other people how to treat you. So how do we move from I can't to I don't in real life? Here's a few tangible tips.

1. Catch yourself doing it.
Start noticing every time you say the words I can't. Then pause and ask yourself, is this really a limitation? Or is this just a belief or a habit? Am I protecting someone else's comfort instead of my own growth or my own happiness? That's a pretty important question to ask.

2. Rewrite it.
Try this simple journal exercise. It's super powerful. Just draw a line right down the middle of the page, and on the left, at the top, write I can't. And then list all of your I can't statements. And there's a lot of them. I know I've practiced this, and they're kind of sneaky. And then on the right, reframe them into I don't statements. And watch how your brain shifts. On the right hand column, you have the power to choose. The left-hand column, not so much.

3. Use the words I don't as a boundary tool.
If you struggle with people pleasing, this is a game changer. Saying I don't check email after 6 p.m. or I don't take on last-minute favors, or I don't drink during the week. It sets a clear expectation and helps you make decisions ahead of time so you don't have to struggle with them in the moment. Number four, anchor it to your values. Instead of focusing on what you're giving up, focus on what you're creating. I don't drink during the week because I value clear-headed mornings....I don't gossip anymore because I value kindness and I hate it when people do it to me.

This kind of language tells your brain and other people that you choose your reactions from a place of strength and that you are in the driver's seat of your own life. So this week, let's do one quick practice. Just choose one I can't that you've been carrying around and rewrite it as I don't. Say it out loud, write it on a sticky note, put it on your bathroom mirror, or actually on your phone home screen. Let it remind you that you are not a victim of your life, but instead, you are the author of it. Our words are powerful, so let's choose words that uplift us, that align with our values, that reinforce our freedom to create boundaries, chase dreams, and live our life on purpose.



]]>Thu, 11 Jun 2026 20:52:33 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/the-trap-of-overfunctioning-in-midlife-10-signs-youre-overfunctioning-and-why-youre-so-tired-all-the-timeI was thinking about something this week because I had one of those aha moments that I think a lot of us have. You know, when you're lying in bed at two in the morning and instead of sleeping, you're mentally solving everyone else's problems. For me, I'm worried about my adult child. Um I'm wondering if my dad remembered to take his medication, you know? Um, and then there's that thing I promised a friend that I would do for them. And oh yeah, that email I forgot to send. And what am I gonna eat for dinner tomorrow? And just all the thoughts that rattle through our brain in the middle of the night.

And here's the funny thing, I know you can relate to this. Most women don't walk around saying, I'm an overfunctioner. We usually just say things like, I'm the responsible one, or I'm really just organized, or I love to help, or my favorite, I just like things done properly. And while all those things might be true, there comes a point where being responsible quietly turns into being responsible for everyone. And that's where things start to get heavy. And I think that's why one of the reasons that midlife women struggle with this so much is because we've been practicing this overgiving and being responsible for decades. Most of us are daughters and mothers and sisters and wives and partners and employees. A lot of us are caregivers. Some of us volunteer.

We're the family event planners, the memory keepers, the peacekeepers. The one who remembers that Aunt Susan doesn't like onions and Uncle Bob needs a gluten-free bun. And honestly, if there were Olympic medals for carrying invisible emotional labor, women my age would sweep the podium. Because once we hit midlife, we're dealing with aging parents, we're still probably dealing with adult children, our bodies are changing, our hormones are all over the place, and some of us even have career changes at this time or are thinking about retirement and maybe want to reinvent ourselves a little bit. And somehow we're still trying to be everything for everybody else.

It is funny because researchers have an actual name for this stage of life, and it's called the Sandwich Generation, which, you know, I personally think is too cute of a name because it sounds like a nice lunch, but it actually is a pretty monumentally heavy place to be when you still have all of these people to worry about, and you're the capable one. And eventually something happens. You wake up one morning and you realize you're just exhausted. Not because life is hard, because life's always hard at times, but because you've become the person who carries everything.

I remember a mentor of mine saying this to me years ago, and it stopped me in my tracks. She said, just because you can carry it, it doesn't mean it's yours. Yeah. That's a big one. I'm gonna say that again. Just because you can carry it, it doesn't mean it's yours to carry. I think that might be one of the most important lessons that we have to learn in midlife. Because many of us, and I'm included in this, have built our entire identities around being capable. And capable women are dangerous. Not because they're powerful, but because they become everyone's first phone call. Do you need help moving? Call her. Need some advice? Call her. Do you need a ride to the airport? Call her. You know. Do you need someone to organize the fundraiser, host a family dinner, solve that problem, maybe smooth over a conflict with a family member? Remember all the details and bring the potato salad. Guess who you're gonna call? Her. And you know what? I am her, and I've been her for a long time, and I'm sure you've been her too.

The biggest challenge that we have to face is that everyone around us gets very comfortable with what we're willing to carry. Sometimes maybe even more than we do. And before long, we aren't just helping anymore, we're actually overfunctioning. And I wanted to have a conversation about this today because I think it's a big deal, and we've talked about it on the podcast before, but you know, it's it's something that has really become an important part of my work.

I personally have an adult child who's going through some extraordinary challenges, and I can't fix it.
And that's a really hard truth. But another really hard truth is that caring about someone and carrying someone are not the same thing. And that's a distinction that I've had to learn the hard way. You can love people deeply without taking ownership of their feelings. And you can support someone without rescuing them.

​Hello, I'm Marnie, and I'm a recovering overfunctioner. I've been wanting to tell you this story for a while, partly because it's it's deeply personal, and partly because I have a feeling that if I share it, some of you are gonna hear pieces of your own story right here, too. You know, over the last few years, I haven't just been supporting my adult son through some really hard things. I've also been helping to care for my aging parents. And and most of you know that my mom passed away last year, but what you may not know is that there were several years leading up to that loss that were just like incredibly hard. You know, doctors' appointments and difficult conversations, there were decisions that nobody wanted to make, mountains of paperwork and financial responsibilities, and moments where I just felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. And honestly, that season of my life changed me dramatically.

And it's one of the reasons I do the work that I do today. It's one of the reasons I teach boundaries and we talk about overfunctioning. And it's part of why I wanted to do this podcast is because I'm really passionate about helping midlife women find their way back to themselves. Because when we're caring for everybody else, it's really easy for us to get lost and for our needs to go by the wayside. As women, we're often extraordinary at taking care of everyone else. But one of the things that I have learned, especially since getting into midlife, is that it is our responsibility to love ourselves as fiercely as we love everybody else. And to show up for ourselves as fiercely as we show up for everybody else. Because if we don't take care of ourselves, eventually we don't have anything left to give.

And if you're part of the sandwich generation trying to support aging parents while still showing up for your adult kids or adult children, your partners, your career, your friendships, and all the other demands that life brings us. I have a feeling you're gonna understand exactly what I'm talking about. So back in twenty twenty-three, my mom took a pretty simple fall that didn't seem to be too serious. But I drove out to Kelowna anyway to help my dad and offer support. And after a few days, my mom got worse and ended up in the hospital. We had to call the ambulance, and she ended up staying in the hospital for over three weeks.

And my dad was pretty overwhelmed and scared, and so I did what I know how to do. I made food. I made enough food to feed an army and I put it in the freezer, and I put labels on everything and painter's tape on the side of the freezer with arrows, so there was no possible way that he would not be able to find this food. And then I kind of looked around the house and it had become really obvious that they they just weren't managing everything on their own anymore. And so I ended up staying for over a month and I I just stepped in. And when I say stepped in, I mean I stepped ALL the way in. I was helping clean the house and take out their recycling. I cleaned up my dad had a dining room table full of paperwork, so I had to go through that and clean up all the finances. I was dealing with their property taxes and power of attorney documents, their wills, notary appointments, phone bills, banking, lines of credit, you name it. I was doing all of it, and it just was just just a mountain of things to do. And every single day there felt likethere was just another fire to put out.

But we just tackled it one after the other, and I just kept on going. And some of it was really hard, and I didn't know how to do it, and I was like, okay, what do I do now? But I just kept plugging away and I would figure it out one problem at a time and one phone call at a time, and I would file everything and get it all cleaned up. And eventually I got most of it handled and it felt pretty good. And I remember just feeling like, wow, I got all that done. That's crazy. And then something interesting happened. So I felt pretty good. My mom got home. I felt like they were going to be okay because there was lots of food in the freezer and that they would be, you know, they could manage for a while.

So I drove the seven hours home, took the ferry, came, got back to Vancouver Island. And when I got home, I got out of my car and I walked into my house and I climbed into my bed with all of my clothes on. I didn't unpack, I didn't brush my teeth, I just lied down and I cried and I cried and I cried for three whole days. Thankfully, I had a girlfriend who just listened while I drank wine and blubbered for an entire weekend of all of the fears and worries, and I just unloaded all of this stress and all of this complete chaos that was living in my body that I didn't even realize. There was so much fear and so many what-ifs and so much unknown that I think I had a little bit of a mini-nervous breakdown, and it was a huge wake-up call for me. It was a huge wake-up call.

I I remember getting to the end of that weekend, and I I finally had the courage to call my brother, and I told him what had happened, and that I had just completely fell apart. And he said, Marn, he said, you don't have to do this all by yourself. You don't have to do this all by yourself. I can help too. And I was like, I know, I know. I forget to ask for help sometimes. And I even said the same thing to my kids, and both of my adult male kids said, Mom, we got you. We can help. We can do grocery orders for grandma and grandpa. We can, you know, we can do all of that stuff.

And it was just really interesting because when I really look back at it now, I started to realize that every time there was a crisis, mom and dad would call and they'd say, What's going on? And eventually I took over their grocery shopping and paying all their bills and managing their banking and like everything. And they would just call and say, We need this, or we got to order that or whatever. And I would just go, Okay, I'm gonna just, you know, and I kind of just dropped everything and would go, okay, you need a grocery order. Okay, I'm gonna order that right now. I'll get back to you as soon as the grocery guy's gonna come. And, you know, and I just kind of was on high alert for managing their life. And I just fix it and then I'd call them with the answer and they'd say, Marn, you are such a good daughter. We're so lucky to have you. Gosh, we don't even know what we'd do without you. And you know what? To be completely honest, like now looking back, it felt amazing to be needed. And I felt a lot of a sense of accomplishment and validation in that. And I didn't consciously do that.

But I loved knowing that I could help, I loved knowing that I could solve their problems, and I loved knowing that I could make their life easier, even though mine had become actually excruciatingly difficult. And if I'm really honest with myself, I think there was something else going on too, because I became quite attached to being the one who could fix things. I became attached to the one who needed to be needed all the time. And every crisis gave me an opportunity to solve something. And every solution came with appreciation and praise and gratitude and validation. And that can become a crazy powerful loop, like really crazy. So you solve and you help and you do the things and you get acknowledged and you feel valuable, so you solve some more. Not because you're selfish, not because you're looking for attention, but because somewhere along the way, I had unconsciously connected my worth to what I was doing for my mom and dad.

And that was like a big wham in the head. Actually, until I sat down to actually write this episode, I didn't even realize that I was doing that. Because suddenly I had to ask myself a very uncomfortable question. Was I helping because they actually needed my help, or was part of me helping because I needed to feel needed? Yeah, that was heavy. That was a hard one for me to swallow. And it's not an easy question, but it's super important for us to sit down and look at the reasons why we do the things that we do and what leads to our overfunctioning. Because overfunctioning isn't always about control. Sometimes it's about validation or it's about our identity. Sometimes it's about masking the pain of the fear and the uncomfortable emotions that we just don't really want to deal with. And sometimes it's about proving to ourselves that we're valuable.

So when I look back at those moments, I can see that I actually didn't have to do all of it alone. I could have been part of the solution, I could have delegated things, I could have asked for help, I could have shared the load, but I didn't. I just carried it because carrying everything had become really familiar to me, and I also knew that the outcome was going to be great because I knew I can trust myself with certain things. So let me ask you the same question I had to ask myself...

Where in your life are you abandoning yourself for the validation of taking care of someone else? Or maybe everyone else? And where are you carrying something simply because you're good at carrying it? And perhaps the most important question of all is who would you be if you stopped proving your worth through your sacrifice? I had to look at that very, very deeply for myself. Now, maybe while I was telling you my story, you were nodding along. Maybe you saw yourself in some of it too, because, man, like a lot of us are going through very similar things and every situation's different, but they're similar.

So maybe you're sitting there thinking, okay, Marnie, I get it, I hear you, but how do I actually know if I'm overfunctioning? So we're going to talk about that. We are going to talk about that. Not from a place of judgment or shame, but just from a place of awareness, because we really can't change things until we recognize that we're doing them. And I can tell you for sure that overfunctioning is super sneaky and insidious. Most of us don't even know we're doing it because we've been doing it for decades. And here's what I want you to hear. The goal is not to become selfish, the goal is not to stop caring. The goal is to stop carrying what was never yours to carry in the first place. Because there's a huge difference between being loving and being responsible for everyone. One creates connection and one creates exhaustion.

And because you've been the dependable one for so long, because I had been, you know, a lot of times everyone just assumes you'll continue to carry the load. And if I hadn't asked for help, I would still be carrying the load. And I still am to a degree, but the problem with all of that though is that your nervous system, like it eventually sends you a bill. And mine did, and it was high. Because it's chronic stress and disrupted sleep, and my cortisol levels were through the roof, and I had more anxiety than I've ever had in my life. And my joints ached, and I was bloated, and like nothing was working. My whole body was just in a mess because our body keeps score. It knows when things are wrong. It knows when things are not the way they should be. And we're not meant to live in fight or flight for the rest of our life or even for extended periods.

That's a built-in mechanism that we have. It is a beautiful thing when we need it. But over time, being in that state of overfunctioning and high cortisol levels and fight or flight, it's super expensive. It comes at a big cost to our health. So if you can relate to any of this at all, let's look at the signs of what actually overfunctioning means. There are 10 signs, and we're going to give you not only the signs, but what you can do to kind of catch it before it gets out of hand.  

1.You feel responsible for everyone's happiness.
You know, if somebody's upset, you immediately feel responsible and you rush over to fix it, smooth everything over because you want everybody to be happy. And you make yourself uncomfortable so that everybody else can be comfortable. So when that happens and you find yourself doing that, just remind yourself I can care about someone's feelings without taking responsibility for them. That is a game-changing distinction, and it will absolutely change the way you feel and help you to check yourself.

2.You struggle to say no.
And we've talked about this lots on the podcast. But you say yes when your calendar is already packed. You know, even if you don't have a spot, you I'll figure it out. You volunteer, you help, you just take on one more thing, and then you wonder why you're exhausted. And that is really common, and we usually end up feeling disappointed that the things we really wanted to do, we actually didn't have time for because we made sure everybody else was looked after. So practice this simple phrase. Even write it on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. I would love to help you, but I just don't have the capacity right now. Love that phrase. So good. No explanation required.

3. You solve problems before people even ask you to.
You see a problem coming and you just jump into action. You don't even give others the opportunity to solve it for themselves. That is huge. And I know I have done that, especially with my dad. There's been a lot of times that me taking on a task just because I know I can do it actually robs him of the opportunity of solving that problem himself. It robs him of the opportunity to feel independent and capable. And so I've had to really check myself. And instead of me just going, hey, dad, I'll call the cab for you, or hey, I'll book that ride or whatever it is, I say, hey, I'm going to give you the number and I'm going to let you do it. Because that's really an important part of their independence. And it has never been my intention to take that away from him, but looking at it through a different set of lenses has really allowed me to see the real truth and how I can actually adjust my behavior to make it easier or better. So the question for you is when you have that thing arise, the question I want you to ask yourself is, is this actually my problem to solve? And you might be surprised how often the answer is no. And it's okay if it's unresolved. It's okay. Let somebody else work on it. Let somebody else chew on that. They are capable to figure it out too. Okay.

4. You feel resentful often.
Now this one is a big one because resentment gets a bad rap. It really is one of those words that it's like, oh, I'm so resentful and I'm so angry. But I think resentment is often one of our wisest emotions. It's actually our internal signal that we've been saying yes when we really wanted to say no. It's kind of like a little boundary alarm. And when resentment shows up, instead of just shoving it down, get curious about it. Why is that resentment there and what needs attention? What boundary are you not paying attention to? Resentment is often a sign that a boundary should have existed, and listen to the resentment. What is it actually trying to tell you? Because if you do that, it will tell you valuable information.  

5. You rarely ask for help.
I know this one intimately.  You're the capable one. You pride yourself on independence. And somewhere along the way, the receiving became uncomfortable. So when someone asks you if they can help you, just start small. Let somebody else carry the groceries. Let somebody support you. And let somebody show up for you. Because I know this happened for me a few years back. I was going through a whole phase where people would say, Can I help you with that? And I'd say, No, I'm good. I'm good. No, I'm good. No, I'm good. And what I it took a minute for me to actually sit with that and realize that when I say no, thank you to their offer of service, I actually rob them of the opportunity to feel like they get to give. And I know how much I love to give to other people and how good it makes me feel. But I realized that other people need that too. And so I had to really have a little conversation with myself to say, if someone offers to help, how can I let them? Because it's really important for them as well to feel that beautiful emotion of being the giver. So if this sounds familiar to you, maybe you just need to let somebody help you for a change.

6. You feel guilty resting.
Now, this is one for me that just kind of, yeah, I've always got, I'm an entrepreneur, so I've always got a billion things to do. So it's very rare that I just sit. I shouldn't say it's very rare. I'm working on it. So it's happening more and more. But you know, when you sit down for like 15 minutes, you immediately start thinking about what you should be doing, going through your to-do list, and I don't have time to be just sitting here doing nothing. Does that sound familiar to you? Because many women have this unconscious worth tied to their productivity. So when that arises for you this week, I want you to remember that rest is not a reward. It is a biological requirement. We need to rest, we need to give ourselves moments to breathe where we recharge our batteries because we are constantly giving, doing, showing up. And it's time that we take care of ourselves. Sign number seven. You rescue capable adults. And this one can be really hard, especially for parents, and I know this one intimately as well, and caregivers as well, because caregivers are in a situation where, you know, what I was talking about with my dad and robbing him of the opportunity to do things. Helping is really healthy, but rescuing often isn't. So if you find yourself trying to rescue someone before they even want you to
rescue them, ask yourself, am I supporting this growth or am I preventing it? Because sometimes love looks like allowing someone to experience the consequences of their actions.

8. You constantly anticipate everyone's needs.
You know what everyone wants before they even ask for it. You're really taking the temperature of the room for everyone's mood all the time. And you carry the emotional labor. Does that sound familiar to you? I know it does for me for sure. So if you find yourself feeling like you are doing that, I want you to just stop and say, what do I need right now? What do I need? Because it's really easy for us to be always dialed into everyone else's needs and to know what they want and what they need. But I bet there's a lot of you out there that haven't even asked yourself that question in a really long time. What do you need? What do you need right now? What would make you happy right now? What would light you up? What would make you feel rested? All of those questions are so important, and we just forget to ask ourselves and because usually we're too tired to ask that question. But it's time that we make sure we continue to ask it because you and your needs matter too.

9. You have forgotten what you want.
When was the last time you asked yourself, What would I do if no one needed anything from me? Because often, when we're overfunctioning for everyone else, our own dreams get crowded out and we don't even listen anymore. Very similarly to what we were just talking about, what do you want? And if you don't know what you want, it's time to find out. Reconnect with your curiosity, not your obligation, just your curiosity. What would you do if you could do anything you wanted, and you didn't have to be the responsible one for a minute?

10. You are exhausted, but you keep on going.
And this might be the biggest sign of all, because we're really good as women at keeping on, keeping on. You know what I mean? Your body is tired and your mind is tired and your heart is tired. But you just keep going because it's just what you've always done. And you know how to do that. You know how to push beyond your limits, and you know how to overextend everything because you can. And you know what though? That does take a toll. It takes a toll in so many ways that we don't even realize. Maybe it's you're not sleeping well, or maybe you're drinking too much alcohol, or maybe you're just loading up on caffeine just to get through the day. None of those things are good for your soul or your body. So we have to really be mindful of what we're doing because exhaustion isn't weakness, it's just information. So start listening because your body may be asking you for a different way of living.

So here's what I want you to take away from today's episode. Overfunctioning is often rooted in love, but love without boundaries eventually becomes depletion. And you don't have to earn your worth through exhaustion, and you don't have to prove your value through sacrifice. In fact, the strongest thing you may ever do for yourself is to put some of it down.

And to finish my story, eventually I called my brother and I told him what happened, and eventually I got better at asking for help and being okay with it being done their way. Maybe not the way I would do it. But it still got done, and it felt really good to be able to ask for help. And it also felt really good to know that I was supported. Because sometimes I think when we're overfunctioning and we're carrying everything by ourselves, it's a super lonely place to be. It's a super lonely place to be. I know I felt that way. So if you're feeling that way, I bet you that there are people in your life that would be happy to help if you would let them. In fact, I'd put money on it.
So ask, because you'll just probably be incredibly surprised at how many of your friends or your family would be happy to be there for you.
​
Remember life is not something that happens to you. It's something you intentionally create. And I can tell you this for sure that life is always way more delicious when you leave room for yourself at the table.]]>Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:52:43 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/what-are-you-planting-in-your-life-gardenAs most of you know, I am definitely a garden girl.  My garden is truly my happy place. It's like a huge outdoor room in my summertime, and you will usually find me wandering around out there first thing in the morning with a cup of coffee in my hand, barefoot, checking on what's grown overnight. And one of the things I love about it is that honestly, every single day feels just a little bit like Christmas. There's always something new. Maybe a flower that's opened overnight, maybe a tiny tomato blossom that wasn't there yesterday. Maybe some lettuce is finally ready to harvest. I love going out and seeing the growth and all the change, and it's like every day there's some little tiny miracle happening, and it simply brings me so much joy.

And this year, almost everything I'm growing, I actually started from seed. And a few months ago I watched this YouTube video about winter sowing perennial flowers in milk jugs. And the idea was kind of simple, and I thought this probably isn't gonna work. But you put the seeds into the soil, tape up the milk jugs, and take the lid off, and then just put them outside in like January, February. You leave them outside in the cool weather and let nature just do its thing. So I thought, I'm gonna try this and just see what happens. And honestly, I was shocked and amazed in a really good way. So for weeks I kept going out there and looking into the milk jugs, and there was like nothing happening. It seemed like, why is this a big waste of my time, or what's the point of this whole exercise? But they just sat there in the rain for months, and probably after about eight weeks I started to see these little tiny seeds popping up. And under the soil, obviously, something incredible was taking place. The seeds were absorbing the moisture and the cells were waking up, and life was preparing itself beneath the surface. And then there was more, and then more. In fact, so many of the seeds germinated that I ended up having to build another garden bed under one of my giant cedar trees because I literally ran out of room for all these beautiful little perennial flowers. And I guess that's a good problem to have.

So standing there one morning, I was looking at all the seedlings, and I had one of those moments where life just kind of hands you a lesson through something completely ordinary. And it struck me that our lives are exactly like all of those little seeds. Because everything in our life begins as a seed. Every thought is a seed, every belief is a seed, every habit and every action is also a seed. And so every choice we make is actually planting something in the garden of our life. And just like in a real garden, the things that actually grow come from the ones that we consistently nurture. And here's something fascinating about actual seeds. Scientists tell us that a seed contains everything it needs to become a mature plant. The blueprint is already in that tiny little seed. But the blueprint alone isn't enough. But when you think about it, it's kind of fascinating, and that's what's been so fun this year is me being able to put one little seed in the ground and then the plant gets a little bigger and a little bigger, and pretty soon you've got tomatoes or cucumbers or beautiful sunflowers. And it all came from this little microscopic seed. But with that blueprint that's inside the seed, it's not enough for it to just be there. It needs nurturing, it needs water, it needs to be in the right environment, it needs light and nutrients. And without those things, the potential just stays trapped inside the seed and nothing actually flourishes. And I think we as human beings are the same.

Most of us already carry the potential for the life that we want right inside us.
The confidence, the joy, the ability, the strength, the willingness, all of those things. But we forget that we need also the right environment, the right encouragement, and we need to have the right tools in place, like positive self-talk and letting go of fear and all of those things to actually move forward. And because that's true, the question actually is for all of us is...

What is it that we're planting in the garden of our life and what is it that we're feeding?
Because whatever we water will grow, whatever we fertilize will grow. And if we constantly water, fertilize, and pay attention to gratitude. Gratitude grows, confidence grows, kindness grows. And if we water our dreams through consistent action, those dreams begin to grow too. But the opposite is also true. Fear grows when we feed it, self-doubt grows when we focus on it, and negative self-talk grows when we repeat it day after day. And just like weeds in our garden, the things we don't intentionally manage can quickly take over valuable space. And here's what I've learned after years and years of gardening. The weeds, they don't actually need permission, they don't need encouragement, they don't need fertilizer, they don't need attention, they just show up. The flowers and the food and the tomatoes and the cucumbers, on the other hand, they need care. They need attention, they need fertilizer, and they need the right conditions to grow. And isn't that true with our lives as well? Negative thoughts so often seem to arrive all by themselves. And fear certainly doesn't need an invitation to show up. And worry, well, it doesn't need a reminder, it just is always there. Joy and gratitude, peace and purpose, those things require intention. We have to choose them. We have to cultivate them and we have to water them consistently.

One of the most beautiful things is that tiny actions create extraordinary results over time. Because no gardener planted a seed today and expects a full-grown tomato plant tomorrow. We understand that growth takes time when it comes to plants. Yet somehow with ourselves, we expect ourselves to transform overnight. And we get frustrated with ourselves when we're not seeing those immediate results. And I don't know about you, but it's really easy to forget sometimes that most of the important growth is happening beneath the surface where nobody can see it yet. And just because we can't see progress, it doesn't mean that progress isn't happening. Maybe you're working on building some confidence, maybe you're building a business, maybe you're healing from a traumatic experience, or learning a new skill, or maybe you're trying to rebuild your health. Whatever it is you're working on, those roots are forming even when the harvest hasn't arrived yet. So today, I want to challenge you to think about your own life garden, your mental garden, your spiritual garden, your physical garden, your relationship garden, your work garden, and your purpose garden.

Take a moment and just think about it. This struck me really deeply the other day, and I thought to myself, what do I intentionally want to plant today out in the world? Do I want to plant kindness? Do I want to plant purpose? Do I want to plant something new? So what seeds are you planting? And perhaps more importantly, what seeds are you watering and nurturing? Because the harvest you experience six months from today will largely be determined by what you're nurturing today.
So here's five ways to be more intentional about the seeds you're planting and the ones you're focusing on.
1. Choose one seed to focus on at a time.
Instead of trying to change everything at once, just pick one thing, one habit, one goal, one relationship, one mindset, and ask yourself if I just chose to water one area of my life consistently for the next 30 days, what would create the biggest positive impact? Start there. And that's the focus for this week.

2. Audit what you're feeding.
Pay attention to what gets your attention. Are you feeding gratitude or criticism? Are you feeding positivity or fear? Are you feeding your growth or are you feeding some excuses over and over? What you consume mentally becomes the fertilizer for your thoughts. So let's start to be more intentional about what we're feeding our mind.

3. Water daily, not occasionally.
Your garden doesn't thrive because you go out once a month and give it a good dose of water. It thrives because it's cared for consistently, and the same is true for your life. Small daily actions will always outperform occasional bursts of motivation. And I can tell you for sure that five minutes consistently every day of some positive action will be one hour of motivation once in a while. Because consistency is the water that helps whatever seed you're trying to grow grow faster.

4. Pull the weeds early. (This one is one of my favorites.)
Don't let negative thoughts take root, or don't let bad habits take root. When you catch yourself saying things like, I'm not good enough, or I'll never figure this out, or it's too late to start something new, pause and change that thought. Challenge it and replace it with something more empowering. Because small weeds are so much easier to remove than the deeply rooted ones.

5. Trust the process.
Not every seed grows at the same speed. Some flowers bloom really quickly, and others take months to germinate. Some perennials even take years before they truly become their most magnificent. And your life is no different. So this week I want to challenge you to keep showing up. To trust that what you need to have happen in your life is working beneath the surface.

So keep watering and keep the faith that growth is happening even when you can't see it. And actually, you know, that also comes back to another point. I had some peas that I put out in the garden this year. And I put a lot of things in the garden, but I particularly planted the peas nice and early because they're supposedly really prefer to be germinated in a cooler temperature. And I waited and I waited and I waited. And nothing happened. And I thought, I don't know if the temperature was too cold or maybe some birds got the seed. I don't know, but I had no growth at all.

​And so just like our lives, sometimes we do something that doesn't work out the way we hope it will. And you know what I did? I planted again. And it's the same with our life. Sometimes our first try doesn't actually fly. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't keep planting.  :)]]>Tue, 05 May 2026 19:46:57 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/how-many-summers-do-you-have-left-make-them-count​Okay, let's start with the math. If you are in your 50s or 60s, statistically speaking, you might have 25, 30, maybe even 35 summers left on this beautiful planet. That's not meant to scare you. It's meant to inspire you. Because when we name the number, time suddenly feels pretty real, and real is powerful. How many summers have you let slip by, lost in to-do lists, people pleasing, overworking, or waiting for someday? How many years have you told yourself, maybe next year I'll take that trip, or maybe next summer I'll finally get to have that fun I keep dreaming of? Well, you know what? There is no time like the present, and this is your summer.

Do you remember when the last best summer you ever had was? I know for me it's been a few years, and and I don't know about you, but I remember when just being able to run through the sprinkler and pick peas out of the garden made it a great day. I guess things are a little more complicated now, but they don't have to be. Let's pause for a moment and ask, what does a delicious summer look like for you? Is it spontaneous road trips and roadside ice cream stands? Is it mornings in your garden with your heart wide open, the sun on your face, and your hands in the dirt? Is it dancing barefoot at a concert in the park under the stars? Or maybe it's something quieter. A lawn chair on the sand, your toes in the water, and a good book in your lap.

Whatever your summer dream is, I want you to claim it. Because summer isn't about doing more, it's about being more present, more open, more you. Here's the thing I love most about midlife. We finally know what matters. We've lived enough to understand that time is precious. But we also still have so much time left to explore, to reinvent, and to play. This is the season when we finally stop living for others and we start to live for ourselves on purpose, out loud, and without apology.

Here are a few gentle but powerful ways to embrace the summers that you have left.

Number one, make yourself a summer bucket list.
This can be really fun and there are so many things that you can do that don't even have to cost a penny. So your summer bucket list is not a to-do list. Instead, create a to feel list. How do you want to feel by September? Maybe you want to take a pickleball class or learn how to paddleboard. Maybe you want to try a cold plunge. Maybe it's an art class for you or learning a new language.

Here where I live, there are a whole bunch of small waterfalls all over the island, and I decided that this is my summer to go and find them. Every weekend I'm going to take a road trip to someplace different and make it my mission to check out all five or six of them. I know the other day I was actually walking down my driveway taking out my garbage, and I looked back in my yard and I saw my fire pit with my four chairs around it. And it was Friday morning about eight o'clock or something like that. And it just struck me, I thought, oh my gosh, I never get to go camping anymore. But I have a fire pit in my backyard. So why don't I just pretend I'm camping and go in the house and make myself a cup of coffee and go sit out and have a fire in the backyard. So I did that and it was awesome. Honestly, I'm gonna do it way more often, but there's so many things like that that we attach to camping, or I only do that when I'm on vacation. And it doesn't have to be that way because this is your life, and you get to write the rules and you get to do it however you want.

Number two, say yes to one thing you've always wanted to do.
Even if it feels silly, especially if it feels silly. Give yourself permission to get out of your comfort zone and live a little. Make sure you put it on your calendar, schedule it, and commit to it because you deserve it.

Number three, let go of one thing that's weighing you down.
Whether it's clutter, a commitment, or a belief, let it go and open yourself up to bringing in more joy.

Number four, be a tourist in your own town.
When is the last time you walked down the street in your hometown and really went into the shops and met the people and saw what actually surrounds you every single day? How many times do we drive past everything great that people come from miles around to enjoy in our city when they're on vacation that we never even take advantage of?
Back when I was 18, I moved to Los Angeles to study uh voice. And I remember I was working at this little cafe called Mimi's Cafe, and it was about 15 minutes from Disneyland. And I remember saying to all the people that worked with me there, I would say, Oh my god, you guys must go to Disneyland all the time. And you know what? Almost every single one of them said, I haven't been to Disneyland in like 20 years. I don't even think about it actually. And I was just appalled. I was like, what? And it's always that way with us, right? If something is right down the street and we can go anytime we want, most often we never go. And it's crazy. So, and even last year, I remember we have this beautiful pier that goes out over the ocean, and tourists come for miles around. You can fish right off the dock, and there's a beautiful ice cream stand there, and they do fish and chips and stuff. And last summer I went for a walk down there and I stopped and got myself a nice big ice cream cone, and I just hung out and took in the vibe, and I was like, why on earth do I only come here like once a year or when I have company in town? It's crazy. It's such a beautiful place to be, and it's so fun to watch all the families on vacation with their kids. And if you get really lucky, every once in a while a pod of orcas will go by. So that has become something I put on my summer bucket list and on my regular list, "to feel list", because it's so much fun to go, and I don't want to wait for joy anymore.

​So here's my invitation for you. Don't wait for the perfect summer. This year, live your summer bucket list, lean into joy, and make this one of the best summers you've had in a really long time. And don't forget, every summer from here on out can be better than the last. But it's our job to claim it, to create it, and to go and make it happen. Having 30 summers left is not a countdown. Let's use it like a treasure map and live each summer like it matters. Let's fill our days with meaning, our evenings with wonder, and our lives with stories and memories that we're proud to share. I hope you have an amazing week, and I can't wait to hear about all the fun adventures you go on.]]>Tue, 05 May 2026 19:43:49 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/intentional-indulgences-for-mayI started a tradition a while ago and it's called our intentional indulgences for each month of the year. And it's really dear to my heart because it's one of those things I really think is super important to be able to remind ourselves that we have to take a priority place in our own lives. So this month, intentional indulgences are all about awakening your senses. April and May are the gentle nudge out of winter, where the world starts to soften and brighten and come back to life. And you know what? I think we do that too. So your invitation this month is simple. Step outside and fully experience your life again. Open the windows, buy the flowers, take the long way home, and sit in the sunshine just a little bit longer than you normally would. So here are a few intentional indulgences for the month of May.

Number one, go to a local market or one of your favorite flower shops and buy yourself some flowers. Just because. Not for any special occasion, although Mother's Day is around the corner. But instead of that, buy the flowers because you are the only occasion that you need. I love to buy myself a little bouquet of Gerber daisies. And sometimes if you don't have a whole lot of money to indulge for this, you can put one little daisy
in a small little vase and put one in every room of your house.  I sometimes will do that in my bathroom, by my kitchen sink, over by my bed. And it just brightens up my space and I just love it.

Number two, create a slow morning or evening ritual outside. Maybe it's gonna be coffee on your deck, maybe it's a glass of wine in the garden, or even ten minutes just watching the sky change at the end of the evening. Give yourself just ten to fifteen minutes to be present in your own outdoor environment. I know for me, my outdoor environment is a huge part of where I spend my time in the summer. And it was really interesting. This weekend, I was sitting outside on my deck with my journal and a new book that I just bought. And I realized I don't sit outside just for no good reason very often. So I'm trying to remind myself to do that and have a cup of coffee in the sun in the morning because this time of year when you're outside, there's always something to plant, there's always something to water, there's always something to mow, there's always something to clean up and where we forget to just sit and be in our space. So I love to challenge you to do that this week.

Number three is plan one small outdoor gathering, nothing fancy, just a group of friends with the people that you love for connection and laughter and fresh air. Maybe it's a barbecue or maybe it's just sitting out and having a fire. Maybe it's on the beach, maybe it's in your backyard, maybe it's a picnic in the park, just something that brings you close with the people that you love and reminds you of the connection that we have with one another.
Because intentional indulgences are not just about spring, it's about remembering that we are allowed to feel good. We're allowed to slow down, and we're allowed to enjoy our life today, not someday. So when I was sitting out on my deck and I was reading, this book is um by Mark Nepo. It's called The Book of Awakening. And each day there's a sp separate entry. So you just pick whatever day you're on, and it has a little thought for the day, and I love it. I've just started reading it, but I'm gonna read you what I opened for today, and it really gave me a pause and helped me to remember that I need to slow down too. So this one's called Filling the Day. I wake clear and rested, light flooding my room. The day seems endless and free. But making coffee, I notice three bills I haven't paid, and after showering, I notice I need a haircut, and since I'll be out that way, I
think I might as well pick up my shirts. But I so want to spend time in the sun. So I think, well, after these errands, I'll go to the park. And then I deliberate which park will be just right and decide on one 40 minutes away. Finally, wanting to make sure there is some fun in all of this, I call a friend and I plan to meet her at a movie at six. Now, I have to hurry along to make sure I can get everywhere on time. But thankfully, while gassing up, I hear a small bird and they lift my head just as a cloud opens, and the light floods my mind. And I drop all my plans like change on the ground. I laugh at myself. I can so easily become a slave to
a schedule I create. Not one of these things is necessary today. I drop everything and I follow the bird. Isn't that beautiful? It's just such a great reminder of how we can busy up our days for no good reason just because we can. And sometimes it's really great to do nothing at all.]]>Tue, 21 Apr 2026 15:15:11 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/the-midlife-empty-nest-reset-you-are-not-aloneEmpty nest syndrome is often framed as a simple sadness about a quiet home, but many midlife women describe something deeper: an identity shift that can feel like losing your role, your rhythm, and even your sense of purpose. Research and lived experience line up here. When children leave home, a significant number of women report symptoms like anxiety, low mood, and depression, along with identity confusion and relationship changes. For moms in the sandwich generation, the emotional load can stack quickly: grown kids building independent lives, aging parents needing support, hormones changing through perimenopause or menopause, and a long-standing habit of putting everyone else first. The result is not weakness. It is a real transition that deserves language, care, and support.

A theme that shows up again and again is “functional freeze” — looking capable on the outside while feeling stuck on the inside. Decision fatigue can make even small choices feel impossible, and perfectionism fuels analysis paralysis: reading, researching, taking classes, planning, but not actually moving. That cycle can be intensified by social media’s curated “everything is great” highlight reels, which make private struggle feel like personal failure. A powerful reframe is noticing that “good” circumstances do not guarantee emotional wellbeing. You can love your family, feel proud of your kids, live in a beautiful place, and still feel lost. The work is not to judge that feeling, but to listen to it and ask what it is pointing toward.

One practical path forward is a nervous system reset and a return to self. Stepping away from constant caretaking, even briefly, can create room to breathe and reconnect with intuition. Some women find this through retreats, yoga, breathwork, forest bathing, or simply turning the phone off and letting the body settle. Others find it by building structure again: scheduling a walk, a class, a volunteer shift, or a weekly coffee. Structure reduces overwhelm and creates momentum, which is essential when clarity feels out of reach. You do not have to “blow up your life” to reinvent it. You only need one step in a new direction to gather new information about what fits.

Community support is the multiplier. When women share honestly, shame loses its grip and solutions appear faster. A supportive group can normalize the transition, offer tools for navigating the empty nest season, and remind you of strengths you have forgotten you earned. Journaling helps many women hear their own thoughts without judgment, and for those who dislike writing, voice notes and transcription tools can capture a stream-of-consciousness “truth dump” that reveals hidden desires and repeating ideas. The most important takeaway is that purpose is not gone when your kids leave. It is available to be redesigned, one small decision at a time, until you feel lit up again.]]>Fri, 27 Mar 2026 16:39:37 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/your-midlife-relationship-reset-weeding-your-garden-with-intention​Today we are going to be rolling up our sleeves, slipping on those metaphorical gardening gloves. And we're going to have a real heart-to-heart about the people in our lives. Today we're going to be talking about a concept I like to call weeding your garden. And no, I won't be giving you tips on what to plant next to your tomatoes. Not today, anyway. We're going to be talking about your personal garden, the one made up of your relationships, your friendships, connections, the people you choose to have in your life, and the people who you allow to have a place there. Now here's the thing. As women in midlife, we're already carrying a full, very heavy watering can. Teenagers, grown kids, aging parents, and our own changing bodies, not to mention the endless list of people who need something from us. And it's a lot. Sometimes we look up and realize that the garden of our life has gotten, well, overgrown, messy, choked with vines that we didn't even know were there.

This happened to me probably about a decade ago. I was just in the process of getting a divorce, and my husband and I had actually come to a place where we just really felt that we had come to the end of the road together. We loved each other dearly, but we just had really different ideas of what the next chapter of our life was going to look like. And we weren't really going in the same direction. So we lovingly made a choice to part ways. And with that came a whole lot of other things. And for me, I knew it was going to be a start of a new chapter. And I really felt quite clear that I wanted to step into this new place with a bit of a fresh start. I wanted to really have a look at all of the relationships in my life and decide what was serving me, what wasn't serving me, what was working, and what made me joyful and happy. And I wanted to move into a better, more intentional version of me. So I really took stock of all of my relationships.

I'm a huge believer that people come into our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And it's up to us to determine which relationships go where. So let's take a bit of a closer look at how we can weed our own garden so that we can blossom in this next chapter of our life. Let's dig in, literally and metaphorically. Okay, so let's start with the good stuff. The flowers. These are the people who make you feel seen. The ones who cheer you on. They're the ones that text just to say thinking of you. The people who bring light into your life without demanding that you shrink to make room for them. These are your peonies, your sunflowers, your roses, whatever your favorite flower is. And you know what? We have to nurture them, talk to them, and specifically give them your time. Not out of guilt or habit, but because they grow with you. They make you better. And let's face it, life is just more beautiful when they're around. In midlife, we learn that energy is a sacred thing. And these are the people in your life that are worthy of your energy. If we really stop to think about it, it's not really hard to decide who are our beautiful flowers in our garden. You also are a flower, so you want other people who are going to nurture you, encourage you to bloom in the best way possible.

Now let's talk about those weeds. You know who I'm talking about. The energy vampires, the chronic complainers, the people who only call when they want something. Or worse, the ones that leave you depleted after every conversation. And sometimes they are family, sometimes they are coworkers, and sometimes they are friends, and maybe they're high maintenance, or maybe they're just subtly dismissive. Weeds aren't always loud. Sometimes they're sneaky. They wrap themselves around your confidence and tug you down slowly, and you don't even notice that they're there until you're doubting yourself and your self-worth is on the line. Maybe it's a friend you've known since middle school or college, and the friendship used to be amazing, but now maybe it's wilted or worse, toxic. And here's the truth. Not everyone gets to go into this next season of life with you. That's your choice. So choose wisely. So here's how to gently or not so gently weed your garden. Now I'm not saying you should get out there with a blowtorch and burn the whole garden down, like no.

But of course, it's time to start pulling. And some of the best ways that you can do that is by setting boundaries. Be kind but firm. Maybe you say, I can't talk right now, or I'm not available for that, or I'm focusing on myself today. Whatever that is for you, make sure that you limit your exposure to them. You don't have to announce it, you don't have to do anything drastic or create a lot of drama around it. Just fade the water supply a little bit. Weeds don't thrive without your time and energy. So just pull back and protect your heart and look after your needs. And sometimes we feel that if we do things like that for ourselves, that that makes us selfish. But being a little bit selfish and protecting your energy, the only way to make sure that your garden thrives.

So once you've done some weeding, take a little step back. Breathe in the new space. Feel the lightness of it. I know for me, when I actually moved to a new community and I didn't know anyone. And what was really amazing from having already weeded my garden before I moved, I had all kinds of space for new beautiful people to come into my life. So for you, now that you've made some space, plant with intention. Seek out some new friendships. Join that book club. Say yes to coffee with that woman who you always laugh with in yoga class. And sometimes it even means having a look at your extended family. Maybe there's cousins or people in your life that you're related to that you've just never taken the time to nurture a relationship with. Maybe now's the time.

​Having a strong support system in our life is the biggest thing that we can do for our mental and emotional health. And once you get your perennial friends and your garden dialed in the way you want it, you have to protect it for all it's worth. My garden and the friends and family and core people that I have in my life are honestly the biggest pillar of strength and they're the bedrock of the foundation of my happiness. I can tell you that for sure. Midlife is a powerful season to bloom again with deeper roots and hopefully a wilder joy.]]>Tue, 24 Mar 2026 21:25:27 GMThttps://www.lifeisdelicious.ca/lidblog/the-midlife-reinvention-recipe-a-conversationHave you ever wondered to yourself, maybe it's too late to reinvent myself? If you ever have, today's conversation is for you. I know a lot of the midlife women that I meet experience a little bit of feeling like they're standing at a crossroads. Maybe the career they've had no longer fits anymore, or maybe they're approaching retirement and looking at a new identity. Maybe the empty nest is looming, and there's lots and lots of different ways, and sometimes it's just that there's a little voice inside that's saying, I feel like there's something more that I need to do, or something different, and I need a shift. But the trap we often fall into when we're in that situation is there's a fear of having to start all over, like from zero from scratch. As if everything we've done in the past is not valuable or doesn't count. And that's just not true. I know for me, I have actually had a multitude of careers. I was a professional singer for a little while, and then I had a restaurant of my own or a bistro, and then I moved into being a freelance writer, and then I actually became a real estate agent. And then after that I was in voiceover work, and I became a wine rep, and I've had a multitude of careers. And now here I am on a podcast. And so it's amazing when you look back at all of those different things that I did. I think for me, it has given me a unique skill set that nobody else in the world has exactly the same way. So what if that's true for you as well? What if reinvention in midlife isn't about wiping the slate clean, but instead collecting the wisdom of every chapter you've lived so far and turning it into something uniquely yours? Because every job you've had, every skill you've learned, every challenge you've navigated, and every role that you've played, whether it's personal, professional, or somewhere in between, is actually building something powerful. And I like to call it your personal recipe. Because if you think about it, nobody has the same secret sauce that you have with your collective wisdom and intelligence and experiences. 

You know, in our 40s and 50s and 60s, we we claim that we're starting from scratch, but we can't, we can't start from scratch. We're too old for that. We have so much of life that we've lived, that we've experienced, that we've learned, that we've um abilities that we've grown, situations we've navigated, perspectives we've gained, things we've survived, and all of that, all of that is what becomes your new credibility.
So when you start something new, yes, there are new skills to learn, of course, but you're never starting from scratch. You're bringing with you all of this. I created a method that I call the wisdom bridge. And that is a method that helps women look back at all they've done in the past and then bring that forward into clear, credible language that helps them, helps them find their authority, helps them position themselves as as somebody unique in the marketplace, and then allows them to really be the perfect person to help their their clients and their customers and the people who need them.
I love that you've said that, and that's such a good point, and I love that you've called it the wisdom bridge. I do an exercise with a lot of my clients called the reverse bucket list, and it is all about just instead of looking forward at what you haven't done, it's looking back at all the things you did and how all the adversities you had, and very similar to you know being able to look back and go, wow, I forgot I even did that, and oh my gosh, and I that wasn't so bad, and I actually didn't even know what I was doing, and I still figured it out. And so you have all these moments of, oh, you know what? I've got a lot to bring to the table, and so many things that don't seem connected. Later on, you go, the reason that I can do what I'm doing today is because I have all of these tools in my toolkit that I got through all kinds of different avenues, right? And it's it's beautiful.
It absolutely is. I love that. I love the reverse bucket list. What a great idea.
It's just putting on a different set of goggles, right? And being able to give ourselves some grace where we feel like, oh man, I've done all these dumb things, or I've, you know, shifted when I should have maybe stuck it out. But I I'm a firm believer that not everything should be easy, but there are a lot of things I also call show through talents. And I think that's kind of like your foray into education is where you stepped into that and all of a sudden your heart went, yes, I belong here, right? And that's when when something is easy like that, that's a show through talent that tells you that that is absolutely the space you should be in because it comes naturally to you.
Yeah. And then I found that teaching foundational skills to small people enabled me to take big concepts and break them into steps, into easy, you know, into easy, simple steps. And that's been a huge help with helping uh other women uh, you know, understand where they are right now. That's something that seems so big, like imposter syndrome, you know, that's we we all experience. How
do you how do you get past that? And there's so many different different ways, and being able to break them down and teach them, you know, that's a skill I I didn't have before I was teaching.
Well, isn't that interesting though? Again, here you are working with all these little people and creating a framework for them to understand, but being able to transfer that framework into the work you're doing now, right? That's a perfect example of you having a a life experience somewhere else and then saying, Oh, if I didn't have that life experience, I couldn't have created the wisdom bridge at all and broken these things down for women to see clearly how simple it is that they can move forward. And so that's beautiful. That's a great example. Thank you. Do you find that most of the women that you work with are career women that are pivoting, or do you find that you have um women that maybe have been at home for a long time and now are moving into the workforce? What's what's more of the demographic for what you work with?
Honestly, it's it's both. It's both. Um it can it can even also be people who are just moving up in their career, you know, into a new position in their work, in their company, um, and suddenly having to take on more leadership responsibilities, suddenly having to um find within themselves a way to help other people move forward. And talk about imposter syndrome, you know, people and when you're trying to come back into the workplace um from you know, from being home with your kids or for whatever reason you know, that you left the workplace when you're coming back, you look around and see all these other people who've been doing this for years and years, and you think, well, why would anybody talk to me?
Why would anybody talk about it? Who am I to do this? Who am I to do it, right? That's a very common thing. We all feel that way sometimes.
Yeah, and it's funny because um very often when I'm first having a conversation with somebody, I say, Okay, so tell me about yourself. And they'll start just telling me about their lives and all the things they've done. And sometimes all I need to do is repeat back to them what they've said and say, Did you did you realize you have done all of this? Do you realize you know all of this? And sometimes they look at me like, no, no, until you just said it that way, no, I had no idea. But I've done all of this, and I have all of these skills, and I'm capable of so much.
And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, the imposter syndrome melts away, and the feeling validated or feeling like they have something to bring to the table that nobody else can bring except them, right? Exactly because we're all unique.
You know, my circumstances are not anybody else's. But they were exactly what I needed. You know, we throw around these words, um, it kind of makes me crazy. It's my own little pet peeves of, you know, clarity, authenticity, alignment. Those are all really important words, but they're so over. Used and misused lately. But to me, alignment is what happens when you see how each step that you've taken suddenly fits on a path that brings you straight to where you are now. That's when things have to meet that's when there's alignment. You see you can see it. And it's almost um, I call it the second act compass because it it gives you that direction.
Yes.
Where where what direction you need to go in.
I find it so fascinating. I use the word compass a lot in in my work as well, because I feel like sometimes um I feel like even though we might not know it at the time, sometimes we're going along our path, and then a say a position shows up over here and you go, Oh, I don't know, that's not really where I was wanting to go, but I'm gonna take it. And so you take that position and you go over there and you do this thing and you realize that it's not for you, or but you learned something along the way that you needed to have in your toolkit, right? So sometimes we have to zig or zag. And I think when we are not even realizing it, our intuition is guiding us through some of that places, and we go, you know, we don't know until we've had that experience, and then we come out of it and we go, I needed to do that in order to find out that I don't want to do that, but I really want to do this. And it gives you that clarity, which, you know, can come from having, you know, contrasting experiences. But I think it's you're right, I think that the path we take is our own unique journey.
Absolutely. Yeah, it you know, the the days of having a linear career, there are still people who do, but so many people don't. Or so many people reach, you know, their 50s, say, and realize that this linear career they've been on has never been fulfilling. Never got them where they wanted to go. Um never fulfilled their dreams. Or the passion that they have inside them. And that's when they that's when they just they make that pivot because something inside them says they have to.
Yeah, and isn't it interesting, like what you were saying about as we go through into midlife all of these experiences that we've had and all of these different pivots or reinventions.
The as we get into this 40, 50s, 60s, specifically I would say more in the 50s and 60s, but but I feel like we because we have all that experience, we are we're not operating from the same system as we were in our 20s and 30s, where we didn't have the experience. Now we have something to look back and go, oh, I can do this and I'm not gonna die. Or I'm not-you know what I mean? We're not gonna cave in. So we have a little more resilience built into the mechanism of making a bad choice once in a while and going, hey, you know what? I survived. It was okay. I know that I can do that.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And sometimes you don't actually even realize that you are the hero of your own story. You know, this is your hero's journey, it's yours. And such a good point. People will talk to me about um adverse circumstances, things that have happened. Um, and you know, and and there's a part of me, you know, that my heart is melting and breaking. But what I say is you have you have overcome so much. And here you are standing here and moving forward and and talking to me in order to help you move forward. And do you understand how how powerful that is? You are the hero. You have risen above this and and you are moving forward. And, you know, sometimes hearing those words really changes how you feel about what you're going through.
I think it's so interesting because, you know, it's just like the forest and the trees syndrome, right? If you're in your own story, you often aren't looking at the story from the outside, looking in. So we don't always have that same appreciation for what we are doing. And then, of course, our friends or somebody in our life will go, Wow, like you're incredible. And you're you're I'm just doing what I'm doing, you know, and and there's so much, you know, downplaying of what's really great about it because we just don't see it the same way other people do.
That's interesting that you're talking about that because um I've just created a new course. Um, I've been working with a woman who is a somatic coach. And we when we first started talking, we we didn't really know if there was a way to even work together, you know, yeah, to blend what we do. But as we kept talking about it, we were noticing a pattern. And the pattern is that women who are so capable, who have so much knowledge, who are, you know, stepping into something new, and they have a real issue with articulating their value. So they'll walk into say a networking event, and they've got the perfect sentence fully formed in their head. They know exactly what they're gonna say, they know exactly how to talk to people, they've got it. And as soon as someone turns around and says, So, what do you do? it disappears. The time that it's in their brain, by the time it gets to their mouth, it has softened, they've qualified it, they've buried it in explanation, they um they give a short version because the big version seems too, you know, too big to claim. And that's really um that's the piece that we we address. We've created this new program. It's called the Body Brand Blueprint. And we're just actually um getting it off the ground and we're doing workshops um to help people, you know, get to know what it is. But that's that moment where you just, you know, and I I've done this myself, where you want to walk in and be your professional self and be an equal among your peers and be able to talk to people. And somehow there's so much emotional stuff that goes on with these midlife reinventions, you know? There's and and people don't really talk about this stuff, that quiet part. There's that that sense of shame. Why don't I have things figured out yet? Um the embarrassment and people saying, You left a perfectly good job to do what? Yes, 100%. That's yes. All these different, all these different feelings and emotions that can be very overwhelming and can literally over if your body is feeling that, no matter how many times you've rehearsed that sentence in your head, or that, you know, that code statement or your core message, whatever it is, if your body is is still feeling that, it's so hard to make it come out right.
You know, I love that you said that, and it's it's fascinating. I was just listening as you were talking, and I thought, how interesting it is, and I'm just from my own, like I'm having this visceral response as you're saying that, because I I know exactly how that feels to walk into a room and go, you know, I got it going on, I got stuff happening. I'm I'm here to meet people and shake hands and you know, all the things. And then all something inside, it maybe that little people pleaser, that little girl from back in the day, something tells you, I don't want to be too big in this moment. I don't want to sound like I'm so full of myself. So we dial it all back and we shrink and we tell part of the story because we don't want to seem like we're too much. And that's such a common thing amongst a lot of the women that I meet and talk to. And and it's intrinsic. It's not something we even realize we're doing until somebody brings it to our attention. And so it's conditioning. It's totally conditioning. And it's such an interesting thing to watch women as they get into their midlife place and they start to have new boundaries and they start to do, you know, say no, no is a complete sentence and all those little things. But that's that's a practice because we were not taught to be that way as young, young girls, right? And that's a a good conversation to have for sure.
It really is. We we were so conditioned to not make waves or take up too much space or too much attention, or you know, or you seem like you're bragging, or people won't like me. It's like you said, I you know, that that that you know, teenager, young girl still inside of us who just wants everyone to like us. But what happens when you um we call it embodied confidence? And when you can cross that wisdom bridge, when you can find inside of you those stuck points, those places where you you need you you think it, you feel it in your body. How are you going to move through this? Once you do, then when you walk into a room, you simply walk in as you. There's no script that you had to memorize or template you needed to fill in and then remember what to do. There's nothing you've got to rehearse. Even um when I first started doing podcasts, um, you know, and being on people being interviewed on people's podcasts, I used to sit here um at my desk with my feet up on my chair and my arms wrapped around my knees, you know, and notes and scripts all over, you know, and really big font, because otherwise I need glasses to see it, you know. Yeah. And it was never, I once Lydia and I, my partner and I really started working on this, and I really and discovered and embraced this embodied confidence. I don't, I I'm sitting here in my chair, my feet are on the ground, and I don't have any scripts up, I don't have any notes out. I can walk in and I can talk to you about who I am and what I do. And you get the pleasure of that. It feels so good to be able to express the there's that word authentic, to be your authentic self. Because you're not putting on a part, you're not, you know, playing a role. Um exactly. You you just you just walk in as you and people respond.
People respond it's such a beautiful thing, yes, and I love that you said that because it's the it's the ability to drop the mask, it's the ability to, like you say, show up as yourself, and you don't need a script at that point, and that's what's so beautiful, and that's so much of what I teach here on the podcast. So I love this conversation because I think this idea that we can strip back all of the things that we do to get approval. I what's the word I'm looking for? I mean, approval is definitely the word. But but when we show up like you are today, it's presence. It's just being right here in the moment and being as you are. And I don't think there's any greater gift that you can give anyone, whether you're in business or in a personal relationship. That's where the good stuff is. And that's how I do most of my interviews, is very much just the same way. I have a basic framework, but I love just the organic unfolding of the conversation because that's where all the juicy good stuff is.
Absolutely.
Absolutely. It's too scripted, it's no fun, right?
No, and then you're always um listening to yourself and second guessing yourself. You're still you can't really participate in the conversation because you're having one in your own head.
Yes.
You know?
That's so great. So tell us, I mean, I love all of what you've talked about so far. And I, you know, when you're talking about the body brand, you know, I do really feel you explaining that in a way where you embody those emotions and you don't have to put them on because you actually live them. So talk to us a little bit about what the wisdom bridge is and how maybe some of our listeners could, you know, take a few little nuggets of wisdom to maybe apply them to their life today to, you know, maybe start the process.
The first thing I talk to people about is changing their language. You've got to realize that when you qualify and almost belittle yourself, you take instantly all your credibility away. So when you come to um, you know, people will say, Oh, well, I've just I just started doing this, I'm I'm new, but I'm learning, or I have been doing this very long, but you know, um, I kind of think, you know, that kind of language immediately you st you're putting yourself down. You're not giving yourself a chance. So the first thing I usually talk to people about is noticing their language, a real shift in it. I have not been in this space long, but I have years of experience at handling these kinds of situations, and that has given me what I need in order to talk to you about the situation that you're in. Those little language pieces make a huge difference. The other thing that um that I think that helps with all of that conditioning that we've been through is uh setting intentions in the morning and celebrating successes in the evening. And they can be small. My intention today is to get out for a walk, to put things down, to step away and go for a walk and let myself breathe. When you and then in the evening, in terms of celebrating successes, it doesn't have to be I closed a million-dollar deal. It's you know what? I wrote that email and I sent it that I've been uncomfortable, you know, doing. I did it. Or maybe it was I've been meaning to talk to somebody and and I finally made time and I did it. And I spoke to a friend that I haven't spoken to for ages, or you know, there's a hundred little things we do. I tried a recipe, yeah, totally slapped, but I did it. Little things, you know, and and each of those little things add up, and day by day they won't seem so great. But if you at the end of the month look back and read all the ones you wrote from the beginning of the month, or or go further back, how about the beginning of the year or six months ago, whatever it is, you think, oh my God, look how much I've learned. Look how far I've come.
Yes. And then there's that piece of being able to slowly
over time begin to trust yourself.
Yes. And that helps. That uh celebrating those successes helps you build that trust for yourself.
Yeah, I love that. When when I had kids at home, we used to do a thing called the highs and the lows at dinner. And it was a safe place for the kids to be able to say, I was bullied today, or this happened. And so they could actually verbalize that. But then it was, what was your high today? And sometimes it was just the smallest thing. But I think those little tiny moments of being able to say, you know, I had a math test and I expected to fail, and I got 60% or 70%. And I was really proud of myself, like such a small thing. But those things over time, they build your character and your resilience and your ability to know that you can handle hard things.
Yes. That's amazing. True. It is. Um, so those those are the first the first things I usually talk about when you start working with somebody.
That's amazing. That's so great. Oh gosh, this has been such a great conversation. So we actually have quite a bit of uh crossover and alignment because I'm also a singer. And uh yeah, I've been a singer. I actually went to school in at 18 to become a singer. That's all I ever wanted to be. And now I'm a voiceover artist. And um, and then I opened a restaurant and I had no idea how to do it. I opened a bistro and I did that for several years, and I, same thing, just jumped in with two feet and said, okay, let's do this. And um, it's just so interesting because I think that ability to just go, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna figure it out and it's okay. I think there's some real superpower in that because I think so too. It really, you know, because if you're not afraid to be a bit messy and get it wrong, I think you can do really great things. And if there's anything I hope someone will take away from this, it's that there really isn't any failure. Sometimes you have to do something wrong in order to learn how to do it the right way. And that ability to just go, let's go. I I know this is something I'm supposed to do. So let's step in and try it. You know, I think there's something beautiful about that. Tell us a little bit more about your program and how people can get involved in the Wisdom Bridge and what exactly outcomes you would expect to have. Because I know we haven't really talked a lot about careers, but that is kind of one of the key things that you work with is women saying, you know, here's I've done this and I've done this and I've done this, and how all of these skills come together to create this signature recipe, if you will, of your particular secret sauce.
So the the Wisdom Bridge, um, the program itself is um is a three-month program. And we begin with going through your past and with you know, doing almost an inventory, and then learning through that what are the through lines and what what has brought you to this? You have to understand your why. Why are you doing this now? Why have you made this pivot now? What is it that you need to have happen? And as we start putting together all those pieces of the past and understanding that skills translation, um, then we can really start building your credibility and your authority and your presence in where you are and and in where you want to go. So honestly, it's different for every single person that I coach. There's no one size fits all. Um, I don't like to work that way. Um, I have a framework that we start with and that we work off of, but ultimately we go with where my where the woman that I'm working with needs to go. And sometimes that changes. You know, sometimes someone thinks that this is what they wanted to do, and then as we talk and as they start trying things and moving through things and understanding themselves better, they realize that no, this is where I want to go. This is what I want to do. And then it clicks, then it feels right, and then they're able to create. That core message. We create the introduction. You know, when you go into a networking event or when you start talking to a client and you need to introduce yourself, you want the people you're talking to to lean in and to say, oh, tell me more. How where did that, you know, how do you do that? What is that about? So we br we build that. We build the language that that comes from where you are, what
you've built, and who you are, so that you you embody it and then you can move forward. And this is what this is what my clients do. And you know, sometimes some of my clients, it's been a lot longer than four months, you know, or three months. It it tends to be whatever they need it to be.
Yes, because everybody's on their own timeline, and that's the piece that I think we get wrong sometimes, is it's like, why haven't I figured it out by now? But often it's a a better question is I'm here for a reason, and what is that reason?
Yes, what's your why? Yeah. What is your why? And yes, I give you tools to use. Yes, I give you things to think about, you know, in between our sessions or things to do and get done and and try to achieve. But it this when you work with me, you're not watching recordings, you're not, you know, listening to videos. We're working in real time together. And we build together in real time and we build the language together. We work together to to you know to let go of old beliefs and old thoughts and limiting the you know, things that keep us limited, and then we work together to build the new. So, yeah, so it it can take, you know, the goal was for it to take three to four months at the most, but that's just not the way it works. You know, it's just not the way it works.
No, and you gotta be flexible with these things because we're all starting in a different place. And and some people have a little bit more to let go of, and some people need to in fact, you know, a lot of I think what I notice in a lot of the women that I talk with is that they they don't believe that they can be more than one thing, and that, you know, if they have a desire that they've kind of like, well, I've always wanted to do that, but you know, I'm an accountant, so no, I you know, I can't do that. And I think there's that piece quietly as we get into our later years where it's that whisper gets louder, and it's like I can be more than one thing, and maybe I can have a hobby, you know, or bring something else to the table that I don't have to be a one-trick pony. And that's just a piece that I think I see so many women feeling shame around. Like I shouldn't want more. I've already got this great career, and you know, I have good kids and a nice family, so that should be enough. But the reality is we get to want what we want.
Yes, and sometimes, you know, that call, especially the call to serve, to serve others, I think you can only suppress that for so long.

And then ultimately, I think you have I I think people and women, I think we have to follow it. And that's where that's where, yes, you've had, you know, 30 years you've been, you know, an accountant and you're successful, and you know, you're you know, you're making a good living, and that's all great, but there's more to you. There's and it's time to to bring that forward because that that call inside of you is so strong that when as you keep suppressing it, that sort of feeds negativity. You know, it feeds negative emotions, it it brings you down. And what we want for the women that we work with and that we talk with and that are listening right now, we want them to build up, to feel the positive, to understand how much they have to offer and how much is possible. And so that's where when you when you get to this point where this this thing is yelling in your head, I need to be doing something different. That's where you need to explore it. You need to embrace it, and you need to say, let me see what what this is about.
Yeah, and I I appreciate that you said that. That's such a good point because it's really important that, and we talk a lot about that here also, because the whole reason I name this podcast, Life is Delicious, is because there's so many facets to what brings a full and beautiful life. It's not just
one thing.
And it doesn't mean that you deny that other that piece of you from the past. You bring all those skills with you. That's I mean, that's the wisdom bridge. That's the whole purpose of it, is that you know, that those 30 years of everything you've been doing, don't deny it. You're not apologizing for it. You're you may not be actually involved in it right now, but everything that it gave you, you are bringing forward.]]>